Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML
Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
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Top comments
kbaker90 0
Two things: 1. Poor girl. No wonder she's self-conscious. 2. OP, your man card, please. *holds out hand*
lazerdude07 0
what a jerk, if you gave her some compliments she might have higher confidence
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Comments (322)
vickycat 5
Jeez, OP must be a really imaginitive dynamo in bed .... Couldn't even manage to point at your boner and say..."Erm ...he approves..."? I guess you probably didnt have one because you were so busy noticing stupid shit like that. Even whispering "Speechless" is better than that effort. As said earlier, no wonder she's self conscious and you deserve whatever length drought you get as a result. She doesn't deserve the extra neuroses though. Please try and boost her up a little bit.
TrollyPolly 0
You might be gay.
redzter 0
she must have felt so crappy after.. epic fail, dude.. =p
0H_s0_iiC3Y 0
no wonder shes self consicous
GreenDayRoxs 0
I hate when my bra and 'panites' don't match.
sophieehehexD 0
damn it, I was gonna say that ahaha :L
ShadowPunkChick 1
Why do they have to match? who really cares?. Idiot.
Mirorbo 27
If you noticed that, I have bad news for you, darling...
minty1807 9
wow... douche bag
Sickkid97 5
well... you arent Ever seeing her naked again...
eyedefineme 0
"panites" ...lmfao....