By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 06:00
By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 06:00
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EXCUSE YOU, but having been both the one who was traumatized and the one who saw the effects of trauma on someone other than myself , I also know kids don’t have words like most adults do and even some adults who have been traumatized don’t have words to help them express what happened so they get violent. PTSD is nasty and ugly and there is still a chance he has this person in his life. I’m not saying that is what is happening, but there are signs for if it is. Is their child afraid of anyone? Is the child abnormally secretive of “gifts” such as candy or trinkets? Maybe even actual jewelry for girls, something they’re interested in such as video games or online gaming. Once a teacher started talking to my son and had him playing online games with him and it was their little secret I told on the teacher and said “I doubt it’s insidious or anything of that nature but I would feel more comfortable if he refrained from talking to my son outside of class like activities such as homework.
Please listen to him and take him to get professional help (and not the medication-only kind). This is a strong sign that there is something wrong (as others have said, very likely something traumatic happened) and he is suffering. And research (also my personal experience) seriously debunks the so-called power of roughness and discipline, please don't listen to the other guys who suggest just that, that causes more harm than good, especially in a case like this. I'm rooting for your family.
I don’t think anyone said to be rough with him. You don’t need to send him to his room or be overly harsh to address problems. You do, however, need to create boundaries (like you should in any relationship really) and be consistent with them. Explain why the behavior isn’t acceptable and that actions have consequences or it’s only going to spiral.
Kids act how they’re allowed to act. I have an 8y/o nephew. He was also great until he was about 4. He is a terror now. He has never been abused or experienced any trauma (since that’s what so many people here seem to be stuck on as a reason) He is an only child and his parents can’t seem to tell him no. He gets whatever he wants, whenever he wants it (kid has an Amazon wishlist that he knows how to add to so his parents - my bro and my SIL - know what he wants them to buy him) Point being that he has had so many issues at school that they have him in therapy now. So without any additional info..I kinda have to say you may actually be at fault here. Sorry :(
As someone who used to work with children who had behavioral issues, it's most likely one of the three most common factors. #1 The child went through some sort of traumatic experience and has PTSD. #2 They have some sort of developmental disability such as autism or a learning disability. #3 They have entitlement syndrome also known as their a spoiled brat. These are your most common issues with children that can cause behavioral problems. Of course there are other factors like for example, it could be a brain tumor or severe mineral or nutrient deficiency but those are much less common issues. Either way it's time to go see some medical professionals both mental and physical and determine what the issue is.
If he behaved well until 4 years ago, is it possible he had some sort of trauma or abuse, potentially at the hands of a relative or caretaker? The sudden transition seems to be a symptom of something traumatic or some sort of other issue, and he may need some serious help.
This has trauma written all over it. You need to figure out what, and better late than never.