Miscellaneous: Inspection time

Inspection time

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 265

You deserved it 3 613

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Same thing different taste

By painful - 24/07/2011 08:55 - Norway

Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 578

You deserved it 2 654

Terms of service

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 630

You deserved it 1 688

As a treat

By Username - 28/06/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 079

You deserved it 4 728

By tracy4191 - 13/06/2016 15:27 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 511

You deserved it 805

Keep your secrets, do your own laundry

By Anonymous - 25/09/2019 22:00 - United Kingdom - Chester

Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 262

Anaconda

By lizbeth - 23/05/2021 04:01

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 21:16 - United States - Dover

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 195

You deserved it 44 190

Helping hand

By Anonymous - 29/07/2020 05:01

Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 280

By green and not with envy - 13/06/2014 20:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 5 797

By MsConfusedd - 09/08/2012 14:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 774

You deserved it 1 938

svalaedgren 18

Saturday 22 June 2013 11:25

Perhaps you should talk to her about how absolute gross that is. Toilet time is private time

darwinism 30

Saturday 22 June 2013 11:27

Your grandma thinks you are so full of shit you would clog her pipes?

Comments

AngelLovesDerby 10

Sunday 23 June 2013 4:14

Wtf no crap would seriously clog the pipes... She's fuked.....

Robert522 4

Sunday 23 June 2013 15:43

That's some crap!! I have a crap trimmer for sale, only $50, let me know if you are interested.

Evilpishi 18

Sunday 23 June 2013 17:16

Is your grandmother German?

chuckcloninger 12

Sunday 23 June 2013 19:02

Just flush em dumbass. You don't have to follow every idiotic rule a senile old woman makes up.

buckdharma 36

Sunday 23 June 2013 21:24

Ok, which one of you is responsible for the floater?

MistySky 17

Sunday 23 June 2013 21:57

So what would happen if it was too big? X.x

Flowsidon 6

Sunday 23 June 2013 22:25

It's ok OP. Every time I'm on the toilet I'll think of this fml

tehdarkness 21

Monday 24 June 2013 3:43

Stop obliging! Tell her that you were trying and nothing came out.

graphicstyle7 17

Monday 24 June 2013 8:33

Um... don't know how old grandma is, but that could be a sign of dementia. Seriously, that's way, way out of bounds. Like one of the posts says, flush them. Don't tell her, that's very much an intrusion of your privacy.