Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, looked at me, and said, "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
gojira666 7
Another way of saying hes got a long, thin, flaccid weiner and your ****** is large and in charge?
louiseth 9
Interesting analogy..
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Comments (138)
kiiouex 3
YDI for the horrible phrasing. Why would you be that mean about something that's both your 'fault'.
alki_fml 5
..and did he explain to you that it will stay limp unless you do your part and arouse him?
mamasait 1
the guy's unlucky.
docscientist 10
A most wonderful variant of the hotdog thrown down a hallway.
funnynesh 10
#43 your answers scare me…
KittyJay 3
Harsh... :/
hellogoodbye1996 6
Maybe the problem is not that his dick is to small but that she slept around to much and now her ****** is too big. So maybe FML for him. Quite possibly FML for both of them If she was just born with a wide set ******
Dusty_Busters 15
I would be limp if I was trying to have sex with a primrose can ****** too lol
Dusty_Busters 15
Pringles
PYLrulz 17
Now I'm curious too, please explain!
StephenJameson 2
Well maybe to him having sec with you is like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
parrjj91 0
Loosey goose.