Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML
Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
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Top comments
joshiepo0 18
Massage her before sex.
DocBastard 40
Remotely intelligent?
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Comments (127)
WelcomeToAndale 13
Practice makes perfect! Just keep on practicing and you'll be better in no time!
DrunkButterfly 17
Flip her over and use your back rub skills on her front. :)
etchsanity1 11
Add in some candles and oils to your foreplay with massage take your time and get her worked up before the sex really starts she'll never say it again
MNBOY16 15
Damn that is sexy. Can we see a pic?
tj5810 21
Creeper alert.
perdix 31
Get nine more penises attached and then you'll have a chance.
mistercrow 9
You into some kinky shiiit I see O.o
Ani28 10
I think what perdix is trying to say is: Original + nine more = ten penises. Just like the ten fingers (and thumbs) he has that he massaged his other half so well with.
Enslaved 38
Sounds like maybe she's asking for more foreplay using your hands vs you just ******* her. There's more to sex than you just sticking it in. :P
DocBastard 40
WHAT? Why wasn't I told?!?
Jordath_Fil 11
Because you don't listen!!! Come on Doc we've told you this before.
jem970 19
Very true enslaved! A lot of women need 15-30 minutes of foreplay before sex becomes truly satisfying. Some times a nice quicky is great but its more fun to draw out things to make women crazy :)
SillyGirl4602 23
24- I totally agree. When my ex and I were dating all he did was stick it in. There was no foreplay. I tried to tell/show him other things to do and he never listened. Very boring. Op, try to spice things up a bit. Ask her what she likes. Communication is very important.
bigdipper33 7
what a cuck.
zandalee 20
Cuck? I'm as confused as a **** with pants on.
onorexveritas 24
dang, that's harsh
khaya 9
It sounds like you just can't give her that happy ending.
StormyZero 11
On the bright side this means you give really good massages.
spazz666 18
Or just that he's REALLY bad in the sack and even an amateurish and clumsy back rub feels better.