Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, my girlfriend misplaced her Blue Baboon Tarantula (aka Bastard Biting Thing) so I told her I wasn’t setting foot in her flat again until she found it. I then proceeded to find it myself, when I put on my motorcycle helmet. I can still feel its legs on my face. FML
Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
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Top comments
TwoBytesCarley 27
That right there is a whole lotta nope. I’d be moving too.
Hangryko 32
@Charlie Given - Ever heard of arachnaphobia? 🤦♀️
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Comments (4)
Charlie Given 28
That seems to be quite an overreaction considering tarantulas are harmless to humans🤦♂️
Hangryko 32
@Charlie Given - Ever heard of arachnaphobia? 🤦♀️
J_Free_Woods 29
Tarantulas aren’t dangerous to humans but if you are allergic to the hairs on their body or their venom then it can cause an anaphylactic reaction.
TwoBytesCarley 27
That right there is a whole lotta nope. I’d be moving too.
benjamn 24
Uh ya, I'd nope the f out also and I'm a dude. Good for you!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Yep, I'd be getting out of there too. Good for you.