Gross and Animals: I love the countryside

I love the countryside

By disturbed - 01/06/2014 01:53 - Ireland

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 011

You deserved it 5 710

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Same thing different taste

By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 803

You deserved it 839

By abi_vet_student - 13/02/2009 12:42 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 883

You deserved it 7 095

By 3hoursleftofwork - 28/03/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 761

You deserved it 5 374

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 358

You deserved it 34 748

Danger zone

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 357

You deserved it 332

By HitbyIce - 07/02/2010 07:21 - United States

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 030

You deserved it 2 843

Milkmaid

By Heifer - 16/05/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 972

You deserved it 21 353

Face it!

By MooCow - 13/07/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 605

You deserved it 15 800

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 747

You deserved it 2 742

By moe - 27/05/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 737

You deserved it 7 733

Rei_Ayanami 18

Sunday 1 June 2014 13:11

Ahh, the joys of country living. Fresh air, no noise pollution, and being smacked in the face by cow placenta. P.S. Congratulations on your new calf.

wtfomfgfml 14

Sunday 1 June 2014 13:14

You should have mooved out of the way.

Comments

trippygit 11

Saturday 7 June 2014 1:19

Did you hit it back?

communisttaco 16

Wednesday 11 June 2014 2:05

I damn near pissed myself laughing at this.

equestrian_hick8 4

Wednesday 11 June 2014 21:21

I hate that. It makes me so mad

dragons622 2

Thursday 12 June 2014 23:10

God has something against you

vintageart1994 16

Thursday 18 September 2014 18:33

Omg idk why I laughed at this.. Just the imagine was hilarious! I need help.

Chaosshadowzero 15

Wednesday 15 April 2015 8:06

Cows are disgusting creatures

ApplePie1994 27

Sunday 26 April 2015 0:39

Only in Ireland! :P

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The Top

Today, I found out that because we made a mistake and applied for the wrong visa first, my fiancé probably can't fly into America to attend his own wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 634

You deserved it 1 288

Today, I had three days off work. My mom woke me up for work on all three of those days, despite my repeatedly asking her not to. When I actually had to go to work this morning, she didn't wake me up. At least I wasn't late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 154

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 219

You deserved it 12 109

Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 688

You deserved it 41 837

Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a customer spilled her drink all over the counter. After I cleaned up her spill and remade the drink (for free), she exclaimed, "Thanks! I should really tip you!" Then she turned around, walked directly past the tip jar, and left the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 376

You deserved it 3 507

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 015

You deserved it 3 595