Animals: Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I...

By abi_vet_student - 13/02/2009 12:42 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 869

You deserved it 7 088

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 07:27 - South Africa

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 099

You deserved it 6 209

By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 788

You deserved it 837

I love the countryside

By disturbed - 01/06/2014 01:53 - Ireland

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 999

You deserved it 5 708

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 734

You deserved it 2 734

Glamorous...

By KlutzyFarmGirl - 12/06/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 368

You deserved it 371

By anonymous - 11/11/2018 13:30

Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 979

You deserved it 259

Face it!

By MooCow - 13/07/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 598

You deserved it 15 792

By Anonymous - 30/07/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 433

You deserved it 4 172

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 11 675

Nightmare Fuel

By anon - 01/06/2018 01:30

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 673

You deserved it 376

Rayn4u_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 16:41

You gasped...as in...your mouth was wide open for reception?

revolution_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 16:52

Shit...literally.

Comments

kbarko 0

Friday 13 February 2009 16:09

There is no way that could be true

Rayn4u_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 16:41

You gasped...as in...your mouth was wide open for reception?

revolution_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 16:52

Shit...literally.

supafly208 0

Friday 13 February 2009 18:34

hhmm..grassy crap in my face or donkeykicked in the balls.... decisions decisions

Obsidianhawk 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 2:24

Wow, after reading this I feel so much better about my day.

FMLRabbit 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 17:11

That`s just terrible luck. F your life indeed.

sillypun 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 2:00

you work in a milk parlor. FYL

alwaysalady 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 22:42

Where do you live? Just curous, cuz I've never seen a milking parlor.

FlavorfulUnicorn 4

Thursday 19 February 2009 16:47

That is horrible. But still really funny.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Bosses Work Capitalism You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was, "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 259

You deserved it 14 167

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

The Top

Today, the guy I've been flirting with for a week, and would be meeting in two days, sent me a message that he wouldn't be able to text me this evening because he'll be on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 275

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 985

You deserved it 2 601

Today, my coworker threw a bitch fit about not getting a promotion she'd applied for. My other coworker had got it, so after her fit, management worked something out: they gave the promotion to her, and the coworker that originally had it was given a promotion that I'd been promised for months. Now I have none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 101

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 858

You deserved it 6 270

Today, my social life consists of eavesdropping on my two coworkers chatting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 455

Today, a package was delivered to my house. Thinking it was my new blender, I hurriedly brought it in to open it. Inside the box was an assortment of rotten vegetables that stank like Satan's asshole. I have no idea who it's from or why they hate me so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 623

You deserved it 329