Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer, I ended up in bed with one of them, who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
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Top comments
zanyone 0
so is one beer the most you have ever drank? sounds like a date rape drug to me.
MyNameIsAudrey 0
I've heard of a four beer queer but that is just ridiculous.
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Comments (308)
Tehalon 0
Im jealous! After 8 shots of tequila and 3 glasses of absinth i'm still the one cycling people home because they're to drunk to even walk, I never end up sleeping with them :( I need more friends like you.
VegasMade702 0
LoL @ #39!!! thats super funny...i hate stupid biicthes like that....
guitardedman 0
get off fml if your 12. even when i started drinking (at 14) it took about 6 or 7 to get me drunk.. i never got belligerent until i was about 18, but beside that point.. honestly? im guessing your a girl (lower tolerance), thin (lower tolerance), and have little family history of alcoholism (lower tolerance) but the small amount of alcohol in that beer should not get any creature larger than a rabbit buzzed. ive heard of 4 beer-queers, but one? seriously, wait until high school at least if your young enough for one beer to effect you.
totoro_fml 0
Only one beer? What are you, 10?
ABR420 0
one beer? girl give me your number
redbluegreen 41
Because every group of friends needs the slutty drunk girl...
strawberry_78 0
You sound like a **** to me....blame it on the al...al...alcohol!
Bloodrush 0
Mike's Hard Lemonade is rough......
slutsstud 0
#49 is right..
anthony960 0
Wow I feel bad but I guess that's what you get.