Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer, I ended up in bed with one of them, who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
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Top comments
zanyone 0
so is one beer the most you have ever drank? sounds like a date rape drug to me.
MyNameIsAudrey 0
I've heard of a four beer queer but that is just ridiculous.
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Comments (308)
I_am_stupid_also 6
At least you will get invited out alot now. That's worth selling your dignity isn't it?
a1mostevi1 0
yay... everyone loves the slutty drunk!
unklesammywantsu 0
I agree with #10. You're probably just a **** that pretends to be drunk. And these guys don't sound like your friends. Actually, this just sounds like lots of fabricated pieces to a different story.
Loe_307 0
This isn't an FML. You achieved your goal. Congrats!!
jwsmythe 0
If I had to choose between a slutty drunk, a bitchy drunk, and a crying drunk, I always prefer the slutty drunk. Even if they don't get naked and freaky at least we all have more fun.
shinyred 0
Who gets that wasted after one beer? You obviously have been drinking before if you are known as the lightweight. So sorry, unless you were drugged I don't really believe this.
monicamischief 0
THIS FML IS BULLSHIT. no one, NO ONE is drunk after one beer. i don't care how petite you are. i'm petite and i can down a whole BOTTLE of whine and feel fine. what the hell. ONE BEER? i dont' think so
_HollieWould 0
lmaoo at #16! but yea wtf is up with one beer? that is lightweight to the extreme! and its not really a FML??? its just stupid to be honest.
FXCKMYLIFE 0
1 beer and you were wasted? that's not lightweight, that's like.... sooooooo much worse!!
FXCKMYLIFE 0
1 beer and you were wasted? that's not lightweight, that's like.... sooooooo much worse!!