Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer, I ended up in bed with one of them, who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
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Top comments
zanyone 0
so is one beer the most you have ever drank? sounds like a date rape drug to me.
MyNameIsAudrey 0
I've heard of a four beer queer but that is just ridiculous.
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Comments (308)
Avalice 0
to look like you're not a lightweight, you have to be able to hold your liquor, not just drink more of it and get drunker. stupid ****.
Blue_Coconuts 7
#82, or you're a "fake" drunk.. You know, those people who drink one Smirnof, and then stumble around telling people how ****** up they are. And how they had 20 beers, and 15 shots, and then killed a bottle of Jack. And the girls start stripping and dry humping every dick in the room before someone just takes her upstairs... I hate those people. One of the many reasons I got tired of parties when I was in High School. OP, in my opinion, that was your own whoreness coming out, the Alcohol had nothing to do with it.
mixedcalibaby 0
Um...wow. One beer? Hah! Instead of being known as a slutty drunk you should be known as just slutty. Even when I'm 6-7 shots over my limit I've never f*cked someone I didn't want to or did something sexual that I otherwise wouldn't have, I think people who use the "I was drunk" excuse are bsing. You still have control over your actions. And getting "that" drunk off one beer, is ridiculous. YDI.
hjjl 0
It's not actually possible for you to become drunk off of one beer. You would still be legal to drive. It's all in your head.
blahdsflksfd 0
Good for you giving into peer pressure like a sheep.
chea_chea 0
After one beer? You're shittin me, right? Probably should've tried proving you weren't a lightweight around other girls instead, then that wouldn't have happened. Of course, unless you really wanted it to happen...sometimes getting "drunk" is nothing more than a cover-up in that case
bethinabox 0
1 beer? ha, and I thought my friends who get drunk off 2 or 3 were bad. if this is true, you should definitely *not* drink at all...
aerosparrow 0
Hi #6! If we're ever in the same city we should hang out. I feel like we share a lot of common interests.
Minstrels 0
lol Idiot
vag_fml 0
ONE BEER??? give me a break, what are you 3?