Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So… don't touch you at all?" FML
Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
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Top comments
viral_fml 0
What's not to get? Read again, her friend called her fat.
lexiBRo 0
.....or maybe get some nicer friends. If OP is comfortable w/ her body why should she lose weight over one idiot's comments?
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Comments (110)
onlycusimbored 0
u shouldve bich slapd her
isodufff 0
amen.
kcslgvr 11
i agree. even if you are fat, that doesn't mean that your friend has to be such a huge bitch. and it doesn't matter if she was trying to tell you to get healthier. she never had to call you fat in public. if my friend ever did that to me i would demand an apology.
Lisasimpsonfan 0
I would have told my "friend" 'that yeah my tummy stops shallow guys from flirting with me the same way her personality stops decent guys from flirting with her. Kinda makes us even.'
acranine11 0
Your friend wins
f_my_life88 0
She's obviously a self-absorbed bitch
mitch123456789 0
cut the hell-bitch
Hacksaw 4
Man, her life must be so hard, what with having guys flirt with her all the time and whatnot. I'm surprised she finds time during the day to be a self-absorbed bitch between all the flirtation she must be barraged with on a constant basis.
saailaway 0
wtf kind of gay ass fml is this shit
lilcuti3pi389 0
Soooo.. Why doesn't she want boy to flirt with her? I don't get that.
fulltimepinklady 0
that's the bitchiest thing ever. You shouldve punched her in the stomach back and said I'm glad I don't have it right now too lol just kidding nothing you say or do could be as mean as that
Sokai_fml 0
xDDDD; I love your comment. I want to do that.
fulltimepinklady 0
whats an ample chick?