Miscellaneous: Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive...

By maximus - 20/01/2010 00:08 - United States

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 243

You deserved it 31 254

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Get on with it

By HURRY IT UP - 05/12/2022 12:00

Today, I was in line at Chipotle behind the guy ordering for his entire office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 102

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 095

You deserved it 7 788

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 360

You deserved it 859

Strange flex, but OK

By Jpah - 24/06/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 902

You deserved it 3 912

Crucial information

By no one - 02/06/2020 14:00

Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 909

You deserved it 3 235

Classy

By embaressed - 19/12/2009 09:44 - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 843

You deserved it 3 087

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/06/2024 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a new restaurant when I went to the restroom. When I was done, I sat back down at the table, and idly started listening to my friends chatting. After a few seconds, I realized I'd sat at the wrong table, with complete strangers, who were too polite and/or bemused to say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 474

By pootythe5th - 30/08/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 663

By luckygirl - 14/12/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 981

You deserved it 4 524

drgnsf8 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 10:39

not an fml. why do people get grossed out when girls talk about the same shit guys do.

kerrygirl 13

Wednesday 20 January 2010 9:32

and this is a fml because??? were u like automatically going to get with her since u sat at the next table???

Comments

xMrAndyTranx 4

Wednesday 20 January 2010 9:29

So did you imagine a blumpkin in reverse?

MacOSXpert 7

Wednesday 20 January 2010 11:33

YDI for listening in on them. Seriously. Besides, this is the 21st century, What did you expect them to talk about? Make-up and ponies? You should be glad they weren't talking about last night's lay or Robert pattinson..w/e.

riku3220 2

Wednesday 20 January 2010 14:45

Maybe he wanted to find out her personality or find something that they have in common before making a move. Would you really want to start a relationship based on the fact that you two enjoy Chipotle?