Sex, Dreams and Intimacy: Hottttt - FML

Hottttt

By whatthefuck - 27/12/2015 23:22 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 649

You deserved it 5 735

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/12/2016 09:35

Spicy

Today, it's been so long since my fiancé and I have had sex I now apparently have dreams about all-night unprotected screwing marathons with George Bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 329

You deserved it 1 452

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Spicy

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 361

You deserved it 4 033

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 937

You deserved it 5 026

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 19:19 - Botswana - Francistown

Spicy

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 005

You deserved it 6 020

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 300

By Anonymous - 16/05/2014 21:07 - United States

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 439

You deserved it 10 015

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 642

You deserved it 8 241

By who_cares - 09/07/2015 11:20 - United States - Garden Grove

Spicy

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 10 845

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 214

You deserved it 6 729

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 066

You deserved it 4 508

Next

Top comments

Dave_Davington 33

Monday 28 December 2015 12:20

Did he give you the small pleasure of a million orgasms?

Fairyjoshy 13

Monday 28 December 2015 12:24

Sorry, I have to side with your boyfriend here. That's pretty damn funny. But I also understand how it could be mortifying. Don't take it too seriously. Dreams are different from being drunk. Being drunk makes you really honest. Dreams on the other hand have no concern for honesty or lies, they're just random thoughts crashing together and your brain interpreting them in funny ways. Sometimes there's a pattern, and sometimes that pattern is just "You happened to see Donald Trump's picture for all of 0.1 seconds and had a little action with your boyfriend the day before."

Comments

rosslynch553 16

Sunday 1 May 2016 21:09

Trump 2016!

shrekboiRD 6

Wednesday 8 June 2016 23:23

How long was his wall ? please report me ??

r00dmutherfucker 10

Thursday 9 June 2016 5:33

Shouldn't have told him. I wouldn't have.

Cavsfodawin 21

Saturday 25 June 2016 18:42

wtf

TheFeels 16

Saturday 13 August 2016 14:27

Was his dong orange and wrinkly?

ajk168 22

Friday 18 November 2016 2:01

Welp now he's our president.

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The Top

The Top

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 753

You deserved it 12 916

Today, I came home to tell my parents about my new nose job I got about a month ago. My mom always told me I should get one, so I didn't tell her right away to see if she would notice. I was home for about 20 minutes before she asked me, "So when are you getting that nose job?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 024

You deserved it 6 865

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 080

You deserved it 4 112

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 738

You deserved it 38 839

Today, my mom called to tell me that I needed to clean the side of her couch. Why? Because someone picked their nose and wiped snot all on the side of it. She thinks it was me because I sat there last. It wasn't me. I don't even live there, but I have two teenage siblings that blame everything on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 897

You deserved it 165

Today, I went with my wife to her work picnic. Some guy I don't know slapped her on the butt. I was ready to deck the creep, but my wife giggled and said, "Oh relax, it doesn't mean a thing. He does that all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 103