Today, after confronting my boyfriend about cheating on me, he confessed to everything. I was caught off guard by his honesty, but not nearly as caught off guard as I was when he eagerly questioned me on when our breakup sex will be. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend because I suspected he had been cheating. His reply? "Took you long enough to figure it out." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend since I believed him to be cheating on me with another woman, something he adamantly denied. I went to his house to get all my stuff back. After I left, I discovered a silk thong that definitely did not belong to me, in amongst my clothes. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a year decided to confess to me that almost everything he has told me in our relationship has been a lie. This includes telling me that he was single when we first met, telling me that he loved me, and telling me that I was beautiful. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on his final exam. I confronted him after class by jokingly asking, "If you cheated on a test, would you cheat on me?" Turns out that yes, yes he would, and he did. FML
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Top comments
feldco1 17
At least he was honest with you. But lol for him thinking he deserves break up sex.
Voldy_fml 16
More like breakup punch. What a douche!
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Comments (56)
desireev 18
Hhmmmm... Premeditated break-up sex? In DoucheBagLand, that is genius! But, in reality, that is terrible, OP! I really hope you kicked him in the gonads for that one! I hope you find yourself a much better man that'll treat you the right way. Good luck, OP! FYL, for sure.
olpally 33
*thumbs up* for using the word "gonads" ha! :D and as for op, the username is amazing... Lol... He'll get lucky, with a punch to the face, I hope... :)
BossPathfinderGM 14
Break up sex, if it ever happens at all, would only be understandable when life circumstances brought about going separate ways (example, one wants children, the other doesn't). Never as a result of betrayal.
annie_nk 23
I've never understood the point of break up sex. But if it's mutual, like your example, it makes sense.
Averance 8
I read this in Gandalf's voice because of your pic lol
The_Thinker 18
Oh, he can have as much as he can take 'til he vomits from motion sickness! It'll involve a very dark room, handcuffs and an extremely sturdy wooden plunger. Oh, but keep the last part a secret. He'll be sure to go Shitty Shitty Bang Bang!
mara85 1
boys will be boys
Pandacupcakelove 26
I know I would find it hard not to punch him, but I hope you didn't do that, lol :P Be the bigger person. You deserve better than this guy and you know that and he knows it too, no matter how "cool" he acts about this breakup. He is just trying to hide that he has made a huge mistake and he knows it. Just leave him and don't waste another second of your life on this asshole.
felipe87 2
No make up sex is better because your guaranteed sex again
Blueskiesforme 10
Guess you now know what his priorities are.
Enslaved 38
I never understood break up sex. Maybe he's hoping that if the sex is that great, you'll change your mind on leaving him. As the joke goes. Q: What do women and tile floors have in common? A: If you lay them correctly, you can walk all over them forever. (or something like that)
skyeyez9 25
Administer a Break up **** punch.
megusta3 5
How about I just hit you in the head with a hammer.
qwertyLP 9
Mam knows what he wants... sex