Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, I had a customer propose to me. I work at Taco Bell. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML
Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Beckleyy 15
Well, then he obviously wasn't flirting with you...
YouSoClear 6
And he must remind you of a pig c:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
mimiminx 23
The clue was when he said, "you remind me of something." Not someone, or I've seen you somewhere, but something. Oh and the fact that somehow you thought he was flirting with you when actually he thought you were one of the slowest animals ever. Which is confirmed by this FML.
ironichalibut 24
I hear sloths aren't actually slow, it's only their behavioral evolution that brought them to move slowly and hang in trees, to avoid catching the eye of predators. On the ground they can actually move a pretty normal speed I think, I'm not a biologist though, I just like biology. I think the giant tortoise or common snail are slower.
ironichalibut 24
Upon a quick Internet search because this piqued my interest I came up with several sources proving sloths are indeed very slow, sorry for the misconception. In my defense though, Giant tortoises and snails aren't very much faster.
james9120 7
You call that flirting?
outoftown 27
Flirting by insult. A specialty of creepy guys.
chanellgymnast 17
He's just jealous because you're a sloth and he's a platypus.
Mr25_fml 14
Rule of life #7022: never work fast food
akiahara 14
It must've been a while since you've had a date if that seemed like flirting to you...
Nicholi124 10
I hate situations like these because you can never think of a come back line quickly... Sorry op he is a dick anyways!
slking1987 9
I don't think he was flirting...
iloveandy143 7
Who knows. maybe from him , it was a compliment
doglover100 29
You should've replied "you remind me of an ass"
pickles1994 18
http://fyouautocorrect.com/