Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML
Today, my boyfriend was on the roof of his house. I climbed the ladder but I'm kind of scared of heights, so when I got up there I just sat on the edge. The gutter broke, fell down, and I fell along with it. My boyfriend then said, "I've been trying to tell you to go on a diet". FML
Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
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Top comments
5t3ff1k4h 45
Your boyfriend is a win.
RedPillSucks 33
so, the FML here is that you can't take a joke?
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Comments (85)
iB_fml 8
lol! I wouldn't worry about it too much OP, i think/hope (!!) he was just trying to be funny, in which case: win 4 ur bf! otherwise, fyl, dump his ass and kick it while u're at it ;)
pandamaddox 0
"that depends baby. did you reeeeeealy need that extra egg roll at diner? I say ya need a reality check."
comepoopwithme 0
you give me eggroll me love you long time
Erh96 0
It doesn't matter if a girl is skinny or fat, you never ask how much she weighs.
niles_f1 0
you know who needs to learn how to take a joke? according to FML, most young females on the planet.
ersa1802 0
ahhaha. so true. people are too sensitive nowadays, and not everything people say is meant to be `mean` or `hurtful`.
selenagirl_fml 0
paging Dr. Fag***, Dr. Fag***! I should go now, Good idea Dr. Fag***!
ersa1802 0
haha!! HANGOVER FTW!
selenagirl_fml 0
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! they moderated it!!!!!!!!!!!!
ersa1802 0
assholes :P
selenagirl_fml 0
i agree lol
KiddNYC1O 22
What did you say, Selena?
selenagirl_fml 0
Paging Dr. Fa/ggot, Dr. Fa/ggot!!! I should go now... Good idea Dr. Fa/ggot!!! (hangover term)
KiddNYC1O 22
lmfao Selena. mod again, but don't worry I caught what you said lol
jennabliss 0
That's not really an FML. If you're too heavy, then how's he supposed to carry you?
youknoboi 0
obviously your a fat bitch if he needa to ask
allenrotstein 0
right on buddy, right on..
ballerinabeauty 1
haha ur fat!!!!!
DAN7IEL 2
speak the truth!!