Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML
Today, my boyfriend was on the roof of his house. I climbed the ladder but I'm kind of scared of heights, so when I got up there I just sat on the edge. The gutter broke, fell down, and I fell along with it. My boyfriend then said, "I've been trying to tell you to go on a diet". FML
Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
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Top comments
5t3ff1k4h 45
Your boyfriend is a win.
RedPillSucks 33
so, the FML here is that you can't take a joke?
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Comments (85)
nhatlinh 0
why FML if your bf has a sense of humor?
xxtheman15xx 0
it's funny because your fat
zomgabug 0
Fattie.
psychoxxxinvader 3
Is it me, or do I constantly see the same God damned type of FML all the time? I'm beginning to get sick of the same things, over and over again. Yeah, it's slightly offensive, but guys do that a lot. Not to offend you, but just because they do. They don't find it a big deal. Hell, girls do it sometimes, as well. But once again, guys don't find it a big deal. How the **** does the same shit get posted, OVER AND OVER again?! Who is modifying these?! I was modifying the FMLs once, and I saw one about a woman's wife getting lung cancer and then bitching to her about how she didn't stop him from quitting smoking (something along those lines). Fake or not, I never saw it posted, and I don't understand why. However, this is not an FML. It's not even funny. P.S. I know I sound like a bitch but this has been really pissing me off. Oh, and your boyfriend was probably joking!
HappyPickles 11
Definitely sounds like your boyfriend was joking. Maybe you should dump him and find a boyfriend who has no sense of humour?
lolpwnagelol 0
It's a joke! lighten up!
rhaath 0
you deserve it for being fat, fatty. Be lucky you have a boyfriend, shamu.
shadowsbane 0
If OP is too heavy her boyfriend will get injured trying to catch her. I don't think getting your arm/leg broken trying to catch your lover is very romantic, unless you are into S&M. YDI
Veritas411 0
I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something -- if you're too short to reach the top shelf in YOUR apartment, why do you put things you need on that shelf? my boyfriend was below me. -- This implies you were stretching, out over the side of the couch, he was standing in front of the shelf. -- why not just ask him to grab it? unless he's shorter than you I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" -- if he's smaller than you, this is a stupid question for anyone with a basic knowledge of physics He looked back at me, paused for a moment -- the pause indicates he actually thought about his response... increasing the odds that he was trying to be funny before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" -- you could be 100# soaking wet, holding a brick in each and any man with a funny bone and a sense of comic timing is going to reply in a similar fashion based simply on YOUR statement OP I have given at least 2 reasons why this in clearly not an FML -- and I have no idea about your relationship w/ the BF... so learn to take a joke
Twism86 0
LOLz. Your pain makes me laugh. Thanks for improving my day.