Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today, I wrote a note for my crush of two years, expressing all my feelings for him, signed it as "Forever your lover", then I slipped it into his locker. Later that day, he walked up to me, tossed the note at me, and said, "You know I recognize your handwriting, right?" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML
Today, my friend, on whom I have a crush since I can remember, read the most beautiful poem to me, which he'd written himself. After reading it, he said that it was for a girl he likes, and asked me if it was good. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML
Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML
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Top comments
onlychildFTW 33
I think it's better you not be with a guy like that. There are better guys out there for you. Keep your hopes up OP and good luck.
abusch 9
Well it would be a very awkward dinner if you didn't swallow anything.
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Comments (207)
friedgecko 9
That guy sounds like a creep. You deserve better than that, OP.
whatwhyhoo 10
Maybe that was his way of turning you down because he knew that would offend you. OR he was serious. I don't think you know him well enough.
ClockworkTinker 5
has anyone bothered to think maybe this guy was joking
howdoilogin 9
Maybe you should try swallowing then.
DeeTrain420 11
Lmfao!!! Damn homeboy got straight to the point.
Sannekee 18
I'll never understand people that won't swallow. Granted, semen doesn't taste nice, but swallowing is the fastest, cleanest and easiest way to get rid of the taste. If you spit you have to keep it in your mouth waaaaay longer than if you swallow, especially if you want to do it remotely graceful. So, sorry gal, ydi
glabberfasted 16
You act like those are the only 2 options. The EASIEST way to clean and get the taste out is to NOT TASTE IT to begin with. Give him a tissue.
squideth 18
Are you for real? "Someone doesn't do something that I have the ability to do, they deserve to be treated badly." You're a ******* ass. Good for you for ******* swallowing, but not everyone does and you're not superior because you do.
great_just_great 22
I would say Your Life Sucks but apparently it doesn't ;)
brownie1991 4
This is why your life sucks
sexi_sandra 2
what a pig
allplayedout 20
Well, at least now you know he's a creeper BEFORE you found yourself in that scenario. All things considered, I'd call this a win.