Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today, I wrote a note for my crush of two years, expressing all my feelings for him, signed it as "Forever your lover", then I slipped it into his locker. Later that day, he walked up to me, tossed the note at me, and said, "You know I recognize your handwriting, right?" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML
Today, my friend, on whom I have a crush since I can remember, read the most beautiful poem to me, which he'd written himself. After reading it, he said that it was for a girl he likes, and asked me if it was good. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML
Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML
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Top comments
onlychildFTW 33
I think it's better you not be with a guy like that. There are better guys out there for you. Keep your hopes up OP and good luck.
abusch 9
Well it would be a very awkward dinner if you didn't swallow anything.
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Comments (207)
SuperStormCindy 8
Should have said yes lol. It's really not as bad as prissy girls make it out to be. :p
squideth 18
Shut the **** up
noobienick 19
I don't see why everybody is saying he's a jerk and that she deserves better. It was a joke, does no one understand that?
skittyskatbrat 19
Correct response? "Looks like YOU will never find out." And then give your female friends a heads-up on this. If he's perfectly happy viewing females as sex objects and nothing more and blatant enough about it to write in on a note for you, it's one of two things. He either has a terrible sense of humor...or he's a guy the gals will want to avoid. Best to let the others know before one of them ends up fighting off Mr. Hands or worse on a first date.
SeahawksnationxD 7
Lmao OP you should take him. If he's your valentine, do anything for him. In fact if he wants gaping anal, give him that too.
FrankHotpants 31
Well you know they say the difference between love, true love, and showing off is spit, swallow, and gargle.
vadala18 13
What a complete jerk. You deserve someone way better.
agtxero 2
Sounds like someone's bit a team player
Robert1989 9
simple fix learn to swollow.
kailynrisher 9
Its better to taste it then waste it.
DarthVader77 9
Well, honesty is not appreciated any more? Since they discovered they are not on the same page, they should be fine separately.