Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today, I wrote a note for my crush of two years, expressing all my feelings for him, signed it as "Forever your lover", then I slipped it into his locker. Later that day, he walked up to me, tossed the note at me, and said, "You know I recognize your handwriting, right?" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML
Today, my friend, on whom I have a crush since I can remember, read the most beautiful poem to me, which he'd written himself. After reading it, he said that it was for a girl he likes, and asked me if it was good. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML
Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML
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Top comments
onlychildFTW 33
I think it's better you not be with a guy like that. There are better guys out there for you. Keep your hopes up OP and good luck.
abusch 9
Well it would be a very awkward dinner if you didn't swallow anything.
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Comments (207)
CorriePaige 2
To the people saying 'Sounds like he watches a ton of ****' - what do you mean by that? I'm a girl and I only swallow, where does **** play into this equation?
JonnyBurnard 7
Hooooooooooootnes
nyikkins 11
Agreed, don't think it's ever crossed my mind to spit. I've always thought the "it tastes gross" argument was stupid, as spitting gets it all through your mouth and on your tongue.
CorriePaige 2
No I understand that some women don't like it I just honestly didn't get the **** comment, and I saw that several people were making it so I thought I'd ask ^.^
frenchiegirl1 6
Good for you to take the first step and being bold and also for sticking up for yourself and our choices. I think he's a douche and I'm glad he was honest though so you didn't waste time getting to know him and get hurt later. I'm not saying he's a jerk bc he wanted her to swallow but he's a jerk for assuming the date would lead to that.
Crazynocatlady 22
So the FML is that you don't swallow? Yeah, I agree. Your life sucks ;-)
dutchy86 20
haha coolest FML reaction ever!
profligatesoul 18
How old is the OP? That's a very childish thing to do on her part. Stupid thing to do on his part
Justyna1123 4
If you swallowed he would have said yes! Every good girl swallows (;
frizz101 22
Your part of the problem.
Munchlax11 7
You liked the wrong guy
mccrightp 29
Well...his crude directness told you lots about him. People like that amaze me. Either he has no respect for women or he has noooo social skills!
worldclassrager 39
What is wrong with guys now...being your valentine is way different..he just wants to use you sorry but stay away...
imchacon22 19
He sounds like a douche canoe
DWT 18
If you don't swallow then you deserved it, smh.