Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Groucho

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 108

You deserved it 5 247

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Same thing different taste

By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 337

You deserved it 40 457

By mustachio101 - 17/07/2012 23:30 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 635

You deserved it 57 607

Ticklish

By Username - 28/07/2010 11:20 - France

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said, "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was, "So does yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 470

You deserved it 32 638

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 422

You deserved it 6 700

By unbelievable - 02/02/2009 11:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 899

You deserved it 6 675

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 591

You deserved it 15 227

By Username - 21/04/2011 13:55

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 501

You deserved it 10 181

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 1 328

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 886

You deserved it 68 152

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 122

You deserved it 10 613

TylerX 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:26

Did I just get an erection?

iAmScrubs 19

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:26

He enjoys the feeling of that peach fuzz caressing his epidermis.

Comments

OOOWWWEEE123 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:40

thats just wrong

OOOWWWEEE123 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:44

he'll make a man out of you-mulan song lmao

SleepOnStones 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 8:11

You should tell him it turns you on to have him sleep in a thong and bra. When he's asleep, take a pic and put it on facebook.

sherriie 7

Tuesday 5 July 2011 8:48

could he be gay or bisexual

unrose 1

Tuesday 5 July 2011 13:55

Oh man haha. I can just picture this.. totally giving stink face with a moostache while getting it. Priceless..

tacovingtonboy 10

Tuesday 5 July 2011 14:53

he is gay

herpgirl101 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:11

Next he'll want you to wear red and say, "It's me, Mario!"

budd28 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 4:18

maybe somewhere deep down he wants u to be a man

Boricuaa 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 12:22

thaat's how you knoe he's qay

Neded 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 17:08

if you're a bearded lady, why must you use a fake moustache?

Keywords

Roommate Music Miscellaneous Embarrassing Singing Relatable Dogs Animals TV shows Cheating Love Sports Weird AITA Death Family Awkward Annoying Health Doctor Money Work Capitalism Drunk Friends Concert Coworkers Sextoys Pranks Intimacy

The Top

Today, it's now exactly one year until I turn 30 and I’ve never been with a woman before. I know that it’s over for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 225

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 11

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I said that at least I was always there for him when he needed me. He said "When did I need you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 035

You deserved it 6 325

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 762

You deserved it 4 275

Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 613

You deserved it 4 117

Today, I woke up early in the morning after sleeping 3 hours. Stepped into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee like usual. I was sipping my hot coffee while studying, until I noticed a small roach skeleton. I found 3 more in my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 156

Today, the family computer kept overheating. My four-year-old son thought the solution was to pour a nice, cold cup of water on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 018

You deserved it 1 240

Today, I was taking a test and thought I was doing great until I realized I was writing all my answers on the question paper, not the answer sheet. By the time I noticed, there were only five minutes left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 369