Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Groucho

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 108

You deserved it 5 247

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Same thing different taste

By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 337

You deserved it 40 457

By mustachio101 - 17/07/2012 23:30 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 635

You deserved it 57 607

Ticklish

By Username - 28/07/2010 11:20 - France

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said, "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was, "So does yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 470

You deserved it 32 638

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 422

You deserved it 6 700

By unbelievable - 02/02/2009 11:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 899

You deserved it 6 675

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 591

You deserved it 15 227

By Username - 21/04/2011 13:55

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 501

You deserved it 10 181

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 1 328

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 886

You deserved it 68 152

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 122

You deserved it 10 613

TylerX 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:26

Did I just get an erection?

iAmScrubs 19

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:26

He enjoys the feeling of that peach fuzz caressing his epidermis.

Comments

thesydneyb228 0

Monday 4 July 2011 5:21

he's so deep in the closet he's finding Christmas presents from 1978 which is coincidentally when the mustache became sexy?

mya1234 4

Monday 4 July 2011 5:55

poor you

Enigmax2514 7

Monday 4 July 2011 7:08

oh THR you are mr senior psychopath

kathrynclw 0

Monday 4 July 2011 7:14

I tell my boyfriend the same thing about his sports goggles... not because it turns me on, but because it's hilarious!!

totalldave 0

Monday 4 July 2011 7:58

Get a clue. He's gay.

MizuWolf 3

Monday 4 July 2011 9:57

Make him wear a long blonde wig and a crown!! You two could be princess peach and mario!!!

Niikke 2

Monday 4 July 2011 19:23

This is Hilarious!!!!!! I've been laughing my ass out for 20 minutes!!

Wtf91101 3

Monday 4 July 2011 17:36

Watch out! He's actually warming you up for a "dirty Sanchez" mustache!

Nkoola 1

Monday 4 July 2011 20:56

he's gay

tzuriel11 9

Tuesday 5 July 2011 2:27

i think he might be gay. or confused

KiraShake 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:30

So? My boyfriend is turned on by giving me wedgies.

Keywords

Singing Miscellaneous Embarrassing Roommate Music TV shows Animals Dogs Relatable AITA Sports Weird Love Cheating Death Awkward Annoying Family Doctor Health Work Capitalism Money Drunk Concert Friends Coworkers Sextoys Intimacy Pranks

The Top

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. As we were in the cars behind the hearse, I lost sight of it in traffic, ended up taking a wrong turn, and getting lost… As did half the cars behind me, who also didn’t know where the crematorium was, and just kept following me. We delayed the funeral quite a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 143

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 718

You deserved it 2 408

The Top

Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going great, I was so happy, until he started talking non-stop about the extent of his foot fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 224

You deserved it 5 640

Today, I agreed to care for my girlfriend’s sister's dog. She assured us that the dog was housetrained, but when I got home from work at 07:00 AM my girlfriend was sleeping and there was not only one “accident” but five. This is going to be a fun weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 115

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 839

You deserved it 10 584

Today, after we got married five months ago, my wife and I planned a trip to France and Spain as a honeymoon. We’re supposed to be leaving on Saturday. She just told me last night, “I am so not looking forward to the trip.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 120

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 238

You deserved it 93 752

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 549

You deserved it 49 517