Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Groucho

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 108

You deserved it 5 247

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Same thing different taste

By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 337

You deserved it 40 457

By mustachio101 - 17/07/2012 23:30 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 635

You deserved it 57 607

Ticklish

By Username - 28/07/2010 11:20 - France

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said, "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was, "So does yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 470

You deserved it 32 638

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 422

You deserved it 6 700

By unbelievable - 02/02/2009 11:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 899

You deserved it 6 675

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 591

You deserved it 15 227

By Username - 21/04/2011 13:55

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 501

You deserved it 10 181

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 1 328

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 886

You deserved it 68 152

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 122

You deserved it 10 613

TylerX 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:26

Did I just get an erection?

iAmScrubs 19

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:26

He enjoys the feeling of that peach fuzz caressing his epidermis.

Comments

imperialtl 12

Sunday 10 July 2011 15:34

WTF

Jenniferx333 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:11

Wtf how is that a turn on?

Cjmw 7

Wednesday 13 July 2011 7:33

Maybe he likes Freddy Mercury?

manbeast2 2

Thursday 14 July 2011 12:01

mi gay-dar says theres a disturbance in tha force

sko12342 3

Friday 15 July 2011 1:50

Did he make you say: "Its-a me, Mario"?

Karen93_fml 3

Sunday 17 July 2011 7:49

Ahaha wow

Alexxx191 0

Monday 18 July 2011 9:59

what a damn flamer

Stoko_fml 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:42

I think ur boyfriend is bi

Stoko_fml 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:42

I think ur boyfriend is bi

acidrainx 9

Friday 5 August 2011 6:13

he's turned on by hipsters apparently... fyl

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Roommate Music Singing Dogs Animals Relatable TV shows Love Cheating AITA Sports Weird Death Family Awkward Annoying Health Doctor Money Work Capitalism Drunk Friends Concert Coworkers Sextoys Intimacy Pranks

The Top

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 740

You deserved it 4 439

Today, I went to my friends-with-benefits's house as planned. My phone was on do not disturb so I missed the message half an hour before I was supposed to be there, asking to come tomorrow. I arrived and he had another chick there. Most awkward encounter, being asked to leave when she was the last minute plan, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 1 232

The Top

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 524

You deserved it 45 189

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 304

You deserved it 40 835

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 671

You deserved it 3 908

Today, I gave over $100 to my online friend in presents for Christmas, only to find out he can't use any because of his strict parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 078

You deserved it 496

Today, I tend to get bloated in the afternoons when I suffer from stress. Lately, I've been so stressed out that I'm seriously considering buying maternity pants, because not even my stretchiest sweat pants will fit me after 4 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 219

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 538

You deserved it 2 557