Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
Today, I received a package from Amazon that was supposed to contain the book I needed for my open book final exam tonight. They must have mixed up my order, because the box contained a large pink dildo. I think the universe just told me to get fucked. FML
Today, it was my first day at Military School. Our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood, which the commander wasted no time in addressing in front of the rest of the room. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML
Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML
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Top comments
teddy4nyy 13
That's sounds like a pain in the ass.
Posthuman 26
Give it to the drill sergeant. They have that name for a reason you know.
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Comments (95)
twiztedone 19
Seriously? They let you have phones and/Internet usage in boot camp now??!! WTF??!! That's the true fml here!!
Vaginabutter 15
Since when do they allow cell phones or internet acces at basic?
noldier 5
How are you posting this while in BCT?
JME0058 8
Actually they allow more then just phones and internet nowadays. When my brother was in boot camp for the marines they were allowed to play Xbox and watch movies and a whole lot of other fun stuff on their down time.
combatsoldier 9
How are you allowed a phone during basic? I guess your not Infantry.
JME0058 8
They also had a fun day when he was in the marines and he dressed up in a huge sumo costume and wrestled a friend.
illmatic2 16
Army gets Internet access at boot camp??
Vinyl_Scratch_ 22
Send it back
blakid 10
Now I'm not saying this would be a great present but...
chrisinator13 5
I don't understand how you're in boot camp and posting...