Transportation: Today, I got into my driving instructor's car for my first lesson....

By wow. - 06/05/2009 20:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I got into my driving instructor's car for my first lesson. He looked at me, then said, "I'm sorry, but I wasn't told about your disabilities, what do you have?" I'm not disabled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 866

You deserved it 3 707

Transportation

Best teeth in the game

Vulture

How? Why? What?

By ice4eva - 21/06/2019 14:05

Today, I was eating pizza and I started bitching about how our campus doesn't have any healthy food choices, and that I was forced to eat this disgusting, greasy pizza. My friend then pointed out that I was standing next to the salad bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 3 362

Little shit

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 20:01 - Malaysia

Today, I went to the graveyard with my little brother to visit my grandfather's grave. While we were there, my brother suddenly asked me, "Can you die now? I hate you." He's 7 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 96

The future

By omen - 02/09/2020 10:01 - Indonesia - Majalengka

Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 99

By ooops - 03/09/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 911

You deserved it 43 162

By MaddyN - 08/07/2014 04:26 - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 557

You deserved it 3 465

By bubbashrek - 28/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, I realized my soon to be ex wife is stalking me online. Everytime I block her she creates a new profile. She left me 9 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 577

You deserved it 2 974

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 576

By sandysmith - 18/02/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 582

You deserved it 33 963

By Chucho - 01/09/2012 13:58 - United States - Boston

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 512

You deserved it 3 637

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 20:36 - United Kingdom - Dunfermline

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 201

You deserved it 5 047

Put your foot down

By K.. - 28/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 134

By hungry - 15/08/2016 03:03 - United States - Waverly

Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 938

You deserved it 2 183

By a chick in California - 14/06/2012 20:10 - United States - Ceres

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 139

You deserved it 8 659

Cool prank bro

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 11:02 - United States

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 558

You deserved it 3 543

By Frouse - 04/06/2019 16:00

Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 2 535

By fml - 29/07/2012 12:20 - Japan - Koshigaya

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 597

You deserved it 5 819

By FML - 10/12/2011 23:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend forced me to climb out through his window, because he was too embarrassed at the thought of his room-mate finding out I'd spent the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 742

You deserved it 5 469

By Anonymous - 03/05/2019 18:00

Today, I met my new psychologist for the first time. Expecting it to be someone I wouldn’t know, the door opens and out walks a man I hooked up with once. What makes it worse was he pissed my bed that night. I never called him back or spoke to him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 231

You deserved it 231

By ShowerStar - 15/08/2012 21:14 - United States - Mequon

Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 872

You deserved it 4 398

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 835

You deserved it 4 852

By tbright010 - 08/04/2011 22:48 - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 472

You deserved it 4 616

Own it

By annie - 26/05/2021 10:57

Today, when I stepped on the scale this morning, I broke it. Now my family won’t stop making fun of me and calling me names like "chubby" and "fatso". The scale was really old and I weigh 110 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 185

By astraboy - 21/05/2009 09:11 - Australia

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 102

You deserved it 8 503

By LocallyBrewed - 27/02/2015 04:11 - United States

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 685

You deserved it 2 677

By weliveanddie14 - 07/05/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 784

You deserved it 15 618

By ihncredible - 10/12/2012 23:32 - United States - Macomb

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 110

You deserved it 8 050

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 05:30 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 037

You deserved it 5 356

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 05:37 - United States

Today, while I was at work at a nursing home I was attempting to dress a woman for bed. She popped me a left hook and I had to ask the nurse to look at my jaw. After my nurse said I was okay she asked me to continue getting the woman dressed for bed. She hit me 5 more times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 501

You deserved it 2 603

Something is about to bust

By Stigmamma - 30/05/2021 20:01

Today, I had an ultrasound which required me to have a full bladder. I arrived on time, bladder full, only to be stuck in waiting room limbo for 40 mins. I nearly exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 59

By Saberwolf - 13/02/2011 21:14 - United States

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 841

You deserved it 3 091

By Anonymous - 15/04/2014 16:37 - United States - Erie

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 628

You deserved it 10 032

By Notthemaid - 30/09/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 434

You deserved it 2 862

By jjjjjohn cena - 13/08/2015 01:44 - United States - Omaha

Today, I was woken up to the crushing of my balls after my 5-year-old son thought it would be the best way to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 669

You deserved it 2 157

By JordanVilleneuve - 28/01/2011 03:35 - Canada

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 165

You deserved it 7 509

By DarkChild - 11/02/2016 22:18 - France

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 364

You deserved it 1 605

By wtf bro?! - 07/05/2019 12:00

Today, I got a Facebook message from a guy from my old school. I didn’t remember him, but I replied anyway. When I checked my phone after work, I had 73 new messages that went from, “How have you been?” to, “Fuck you ugly cockteasing whore,” and ended with, “You better hope I don’t catch you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 263

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 15/07/2016 16:14 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 693

You deserved it 3 060

By Tom - 15/06/2009 10:07 - Israel

Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 385

You deserved it 3 575

By teeth - 10/08/2011 17:00 - United States

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 357

You deserved it 2 818

By meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 565

You deserved it 1 815

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Top comments

shimmyya88 0

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Thursday 7 May 2009 2:31

I don't get it. He "saw" your disability? Are you deformed or something?

ArtsySwag 0

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Thursday 7 May 2009 2:37

She's saying that he's implying she resembles disabled people (not sure which disability though)... Some physical characteristic she has made him assume that. It's not rocket science. But wow, what an asshole. I guess this is what happens when people assume stuff smh.

shimmyya88 0

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Thursday 7 May 2009 2:31

I don't get it. He "saw" your disability? Are you deformed or something?

gasbreakdipdip 0

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Tuesday 15 June 2010 6:49

lol

FriesWithASideOf 0

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Wednesday 30 June 2010 21:22

#1 Made me lol so hard.

duke_nukem_25299 0

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Tuesday 6 July 2010 21:24

i disagree with 104

carnage1106 0

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Wednesday 27 October 2010 19:26

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

DeadxManxWalking 27

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Friday 17 June 2011 23:49

yes....

rocketpopper1030 11

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Friday 29 June 2012 9:51

Well. He's an asshole.

elastisch 0

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Thursday 7 May 2009 2:32

Hoshit. You need to get that ass fired.

adamcole20 0

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Thursday 7 April 2011 23:12

u scare me

robotiick 12

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:15

me likey lol

b00mc1ap 0

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Thursday 7 May 2009 2:32

yea how did he see a disability if you aren't disabled?

bassfromhell 0

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Thursday 7 May 2009 2:34

damn thats screwed up!! i cant believe he said that without knowing if u were disabled. If you'd have said you were disabled, would the test be any easier?

ManganeseDream 0

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Thursday 7 May 2009 2:36

needs more info or ydi

ArtsySwag 0

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Thursday 7 May 2009 2:37

tiger_master 0

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Tuesday 11 May 2010 4:42

there are some physical charistics for mental illensses like downs syndrome maybe that's what he ment???????

Kamazar 0

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Thursday 7 May 2009 2:36

... this makes no sense at all. Is being fat a disability? Cuz it's all I can think off.

jingojango 0

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Thursday 7 May 2009 2:40

He must have seen your red hair...It's okay tho, just an honest mistake. Gingervitis is a genetic disorder that afflicts many citizens and their young...please, think of the children