Transportation: Today, I got into my driving instructor's car for my first lesson....

By wow. - United Kingdom

Today, I got into my driving instructor's car for my first lesson. He looked at me, then said, "I'm sorry, but I wasn't told about your disabilities, what do you have?" I'm not disabled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63841

You deserved it

3706

Favorite

Transportation

Our house, in the middle of our street

Sorry…

Dangling modifier

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31571

You deserved it

2583

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18224

You deserved it

30080

Favorite

By bman - Australia - Sydney

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11907

You deserved it

50046

Favorite

By Rose - United States

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27064

You deserved it

2350

Favorite

By birdbath - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35799

You deserved it

3620

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Silver Spring

Birthday gift

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2057

You deserved it

144

Favorite

By Headphones - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74442

You deserved it

5667

Favorite

By moonbears - United States - Portland

Today, as I tried to parallel park at a busy spot downtown, a group of teens jumped in front of my car and started a slow clap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22986

You deserved it

2795

Favorite

By T_Willl

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16928

You deserved it

57494

Favorite

By publicenemy - United States

Today, I was first in line at a stoplight. After five minutes, with a line of cars behind me, the light was still red. People behind me started honking, so I decided to just go. Halfway across the way, I was greeted by a camera flash. Nobody else went. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13599

You deserved it

54922

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33512

You deserved it

2895

Favorite

By cleb

Today, I found out that the seeds of the Cherimoya fruit are toxic. I found out by eating the entire fruit, including all seeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3334

You deserved it

987

Favorite

By Nohearingornoeating

WHAT?

Today, my brand-new digital hearing aid fell out of my ear as I was walking home from the store. I've retraced my steps, but cannot find it anywhere. It cost $2000, and replacement, like the hearing aid itself, is not covered by insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4050

You deserved it

375

Favorite

By bachelor - United States

Today, was my bachelor party. The only people that showed up were my best man and my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43652

You deserved it

3663

Favorite

By Nicole - United States

Gift of the gab

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40163

You deserved it

7228

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Maple

Today, I found out that my best friend's psycho ex-girlfriend has been stalking me on social media for the past few months, when she contacted me asking why I was holding hands with him in a picture from over two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19285

You deserved it

1340

Favorite

By OhWait - United States - Schenectady

Today, after six weeks of dealing with various exterminators, my roommate and I were about to toast to what we were told was a wasp-free room. That's when we noticed several much smaller wasps flying around. Not only is our wasp problem not solved, but our room is a wasp breeding ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22949

You deserved it

1446

Favorite

By tomtomcutiepoof - United States

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70677

You deserved it

7560

Favorite

By FreshFaced - United Kingdom

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40898

You deserved it

8031

Favorite

By speshlk37 - United States

Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22140

You deserved it

9529

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33106

You deserved it

3267

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13466

You deserved it

46451

Favorite

By notaguidette - United States

Today, I weighed myself. When I was fifteen, my mom yelled at me, saying that I was going to end up being 200 pounds by the time I was forty. Well, mom, you're wrong. At this rate I'll be 200 pounds by the time I'm twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12916

You deserved it

37843

Favorite

By WaffleJesus - United States

Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27188

You deserved it

2542

Favorite

By betterthanhodor - United Kingdom

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28049

You deserved it

5898

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33936

You deserved it

3494

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

I agree, your life sucks

49119

You deserved it

17635

Favorite

By SchwesterGrimm

Today, a man sat next to me on a train carriage, despite various empty seats. During a weird conversation, I told him that I'm on my way back from London after seeing a friend from Germany there. He goes on to talk about Nazis and, with one arm in the air, asks me if he's doing the salute right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13259

You deserved it

943

Favorite

By sexandanxiety - Canada - Stittsville

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34525

You deserved it

4181

Favorite

By Court - United States

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29447

You deserved it

3538

Favorite

By KeepOnTruckin'

Today, I had to help my best friend plan his upcoming date with the girl he doesn't know I'm secretly in love with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1813

You deserved it

522

Favorite

By JMcKay - Australia

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30013

You deserved it

6116

Favorite

By - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I've reached a level of tired I didn't think was possible. I've had less than 3 hours sleep in the last 72 hours and have not slept more than 20 minutes each stretch because my newborn is so unsettled. The baby has been peacefully sleeping for the last 3 hours and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1936

You deserved it

258

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/2/2021 21:28

Congratulations!

Today, I received the most comments and likes on a Facebook post for years. What exciting thing had happened in my life? Well, I bought a glow-in-the-dark plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

564

You deserved it

126

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/6/2020 14:01

All kinds of wrong

Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1637

You deserved it

162

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33003

You deserved it

3310

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50726

You deserved it

7883

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31382

You deserved it

4335

Favorite

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Sweden

Dad prank #9866

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46988

You deserved it

4974

Favorite

By Sean - Canada

Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34553

You deserved it

4712

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By shimmyya88 | 0

#175662 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:31

I don't get it. He "saw" your disability? Are you deformed or something?

By ArtsySwag | 0

#175695 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:37

She's saying that he's implying she resembles disabled people (not sure which disability though)... Some physical characteristic she has made him assume that. It's not rocket science.

But wow, what an asshole. I guess this is what happens when people assume stuff smh.

COMMENTS

By shimmyya88 | 0

#175662 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:31

I don't get it. He "saw" your disability? Are you deformed or something?

gasbreakdipdip | 0

#1030622 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 6:49

lol

FriesWithASideOf | 0

#1050596 - Wednesday 30 June 2010 21:22

#1 Made me lol so hard.

duke_nukem_25299 | 0

#1068400 - Tuesday 6 July 2010 21:24

i disagree with 104

carnage1106 | 0

#1611987 - Wednesday 27 October 2010 19:26

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

DeadxManxWalking | 27

#2704522 - Friday 17 June 2011 23:49

yes....

rocketpopper1030 | 11

#4629594 - Friday 29 June 2012 9:51

Well. He's an asshole.

By elastisch | 0

#175664 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:32

Hoshit. You need to get that ass fired.

adamcole20 | 0

#2310379 - Thursday 7 April 2011 23:12

u scare me

robotiick | 12

#2412416 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:15

me likey lol

By b00mc1ap | 0

#175669 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:32

yea how did he see a disability if you aren't disabled?

By bassfromhell | 0

#175678 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:34

damn thats screwed up!! i cant believe he said that without knowing if u were disabled. If you'd have said you were disabled, would the test be any easier?

By ManganeseDream | 0

#175694 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:36

needs more info or ydi

By ArtsySwag | 0

#175695 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:37

tiger_master | 0

#990713 - Tuesday 11 May 2010 4:42

there are some physical charistics for mental illensses like downs syndrome maybe that's what he ment???????

By Kamazar | 0

#175696 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:36

... this makes no sense at all. Is being fat a disability? Cuz it's all I can think off.

By jingojango | 0

#175716 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:40

He must have seen your red hair...It's okay tho, just an honest mistake. Gingervitis is a genetic disorder that afflicts many citizens and their young...please, think of the children

Tristyxxx | 24

#2949518 - Friday 22 July 2011 8:21

so racist, I loved it

By jadeddream | 0

#175732 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:43

err, what? I don't get it.

Maybe he was just asking because these things are important to know before someone drives a car.

By SoFreakinNaive | 0

#175736 - Thursday 7 May 2009 2:44

ouch.