Pro tip: order your books earlier so you don’t have to deal with shit like this

Congrats on writing your own punchline! I don’t know if anybody’s going to add the obligatory “shitty situation” or “I hope you mean EX-textbook” comment.

Hopefully you can find a way to pass with a giant pink dildo

When life gives you lemons, get off with a big pink dildo. Or something like that..

Well, that's a hell of a cock-up.

More like Fuck your decisions. You waited this close to the final to get the book you need for it? What was going on all semester? Now if you had the pink dildo before... MAYBE that would be an explanation. Fuck, learn from this.

Sex releaves stress, which will lead you to be more focused, thus passing your exam. God is looking out for you.

you're fucked in more ways than one

Was this a book that was given in the course outline at the start of the semester? If yes then YDI, Did you procrastinate in ordering it? Did you try to order it but it was out of stock? Did you try other websites? There are so many options now to find a physical copy of a text or online copy unless it was last min and you had no other options YDI. Texts are exspensive, but there are much cheaper options like getting last years version or getting a used copy.

Hopefully you now feel less stressed about the exam.