By Anonymous - 23/4/2020 20:00

Freudian slip

Today, I accidentally sent a very sexually explicit message to my online class because I thought I was typing in a different window. You can't delete messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks

819

You deserved it

2204

Favorite

Season finale

Creepy

True hero

By CaptainStars - 29/6/2020 20:01

Bureaucracy

Today, I ran out of my antidepressants, and I cannot get more because my local hospital is closed, and I can't register online because the only way it will let me sign up is over the phone, due to me living in a rural area. I'm mute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1673

You deserved it

104

Favorite

By marriedtoatool - 26/12/2012 06:15 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30547

You deserved it

2901

Favorite

By exalia - 7/5/2012 20:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally bought a car, after saving up for a year. My dealer had told me it was a good buy, so I snapped it up then and there. On the way home, the rear axle practically fell out of the car due to frame rot. My dealer wants to buy the car back at half the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13021

You deserved it

30153

Favorite

By 8reth72 - 11/6/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36097

You deserved it

86714

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/10/2013 13:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44848

You deserved it

3105

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/8/2015 06:39 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25885

You deserved it

2535

Favorite

By titov - 10/1/2009 14:41 - France

Today, I got my stuff together before leaving to take the bus: cigarettes, newspaper, mobile phone and the trash. I took me at least 5 minutes in the bus to realize that I was travelling with the trash on my knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18960

You deserved it

7084

Favorite

By anonymous - 30/7/2014 02:36 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43915

You deserved it

7348

Favorite

By Jonathan - 18/3/2011 21:40 - Denmark

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

I agree, your life sucks

47855

You deserved it

10056

Favorite

By a4rk - 8/7/2012 18:32 - Malaysia - Sibu

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24693

You deserved it

4454

Favorite

By imabadperson - 6/3/2010 12:24 - United States

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9453

You deserved it

43938

Favorite

By monochrometea - 9/9/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26779

You deserved it

2351

Favorite

By Bob - 12/11/2010 03:55 - United States

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40040

You deserved it

3640

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/9/2011 10:14 - China

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29684

You deserved it

4334

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/5/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70144

You deserved it

2895

Favorite

By gasbrain - 5/9/2020 20:06

Buyer's market

Today, after being unemployed for a couple of months, I got a call back from a security job I did for a week. But with a new condition: besides the security work, one day in the week they want me to cut grass, paint and clean up the grounds for the same minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1138

You deserved it

164

Favorite

By Nasty - 30/8/2011 16:48 - United States

Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34185

You deserved it

11519

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/9/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7031

You deserved it

50609

Favorite

By ilikeirishducks - 19/6/2009 13:51 - Italy

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51698

You deserved it

21039

Favorite

By idontevengetpaid - 5/9/2016 04:35 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I arrived at my internship at 7 am after three hours of sleep with a massive hangover. When I got there, my boss told me he had made a mistake and I was meant to come in next week. He then said, "Well, now that you're here, you might as well get some work done. Come in next week as well." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10091

You deserved it

15089

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/9/2014 04:46 - United States - Diana

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42006

You deserved it

3457

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/11/2014 18:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35835

You deserved it

6993

Favorite

By sninapeters - 22/12/2011 05:31 - United States

Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11424

You deserved it

36917

Favorite

By Tristan - 30/7/2020 02:01

Send message

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1181

You deserved it

300

Favorite

By tbree - 19/9/2014 22:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

44889

You deserved it

4444

Favorite

By shitface - 6/1/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Shared towel

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1955

You deserved it

1157

Favorite

By therosalina - 1/10/2018 10:30 - United States - Duluth

Today, my dad moved my car onto the street so he wouldn't accidentally back into it while moving our boat. My neighbor backed into it instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2782

You deserved it

145

Favorite

By justagirl - 21/12/2019 14:00

Fatherlessness

Today, my ex started to talk to me again after 3 years. I've been in an amazing relationship for the last 2 years. She let me know she is taking me to court for child support. I didn't even know I had a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2340

You deserved it

200

Favorite

By Creep - 15/7/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31660

You deserved it

6059

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/4/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4360

You deserved it

381

Favorite

By pvtcab - 5/10/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30977

You deserved it

3020

Favorite

By ringrash - 14/1/2016 06:17 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I finally went to the doctor's office to have a small patch of acne on my stomach looked at. Since it was in an almost perfect circle and abnormally sensitive, I was worried it could be ringworm or some other sort of skin infection. It turned out to be an infection alright. Herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23905

You deserved it

4330

Favorite

By rachiej8 - 10/6/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36660

You deserved it

5466

Favorite

By porkeater - 16/7/2009 15:02 - United States

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43238

You deserved it

13572

Favorite

By brigie - 1/5/2013 08:21 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51405

You deserved it

8117

Favorite

By Gameless Guy - 24/12/2009 15:49 - United States

Today, I learned just how much change a toddler can stuff in to a Nintendo Wii. I also learned that those things are put together with special screws. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27108

You deserved it

4081

Favorite

By AkaiKitsune - 12/8/2017 11:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, while riding around the lake, a pair of kids thought it was okay to take turns yanking my horse's tail and running away so they didn't get kicked. When I told the parents not to let their kids do that, they said that I shouldn't be riding if I can't "control my beast". FML

I agree, your life sucks

4840

You deserved it

229

Favorite

By anonymous - 26/6/2012 06:05 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29912

You deserved it

6040

Favorite

By DonMare - 22/4/2009 07:48 - Australia

Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53466

You deserved it

7636

Favorite

By foreverashamed - 4/11/2011 06:57 - Canada

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33546

You deserved it

6795

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By John Raymond Matheney | 2

#7900166 - Thursday 23 April 2020 20:15

what did it say, are you a teacher or a student?

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7900240 - Friday 24 April 2020 3:20

That's what happens when you don't pay attention.

COMMENTS

By John Raymond Matheney | 2

#7900166 - Thursday 23 April 2020 20:15

what did it say, are you a teacher or a student?

By Marcella1016 | 29

#7900207 - Friday 24 April 2020 0:12

I think inquiring minds want to know exactly what this sexually explicit message was lol

By leximichelle | 13

#7900222 - Friday 24 April 2020 1:52

I’m assuming that since you can’t personally delete it, you’re not the instructor. You should probably just ask your professor to remove it for you. I mean, after apologizing profusely.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7900238 - Friday 24 April 2020 3:18

How many people replied? I'm guessing at least 80% of the guys.

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7900240 - Friday 24 April 2020 3:20

That's what happens when you don't pay attention.

By namine120409 | 40

#7900396 - Friday 24 April 2020 16:22

Why did you even have a window where sexual content would be appropriate the same time you had a window for your online class open?

JasonThorn | 18

#7900506 - Saturday 25 April 2020 0:10

Probably because they forgot the Murphy's Law on Work/School Equipment - Anything that could potentially get you into trouble will be mistakenly shared sooner or later.

WILL BE.

By sickerthanyou | 13

#7900548 - Saturday 25 April 2020 8:01

Nice!, I bet you became popular