Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML
Today my boss went digging through my drawer, took a pack of gum, and told me I got him the wrong flavor. He kept it anyway. FML
Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML
Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
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Top comments
Pinkiss_fml 21
There must be something the management can do. Are there any cameras in the area where you're parked? Did you park in the employee parking area? Have you reported it to the police?
Cagara_fml 10
Report him to management. I am sorry OP some people are just assholes
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Comments (89)
abNormal62 23
Go back to your desk and get the gum, and you have a temporary patch kit......
Tournesol143 28
So he went from masticating gum to masticating your tires? Either way, that's destruction of property and a crime. Hopefully it was done in a parking garage where there will be plenty of cameras. You need to contact building security. They, in turn, should contact the police. (If they don't, you need to). Once that is done, contact HR and your boss. Don't let this go - you need to do this immediately. This sucks, OP. I hope plenty of evidence can be found to support you and get this guy out of your life.
S_Gnu 17
Did you almost crash, but the Lord had mercy, now your machine's a dud and you're stuck in the mud somewhere in the swamps of Jersey?
Witchylady 18
Your coworker has serious mental issues. Beware!!!!
vikky538 29
Thats a way too over reaction from your co worker
zombiekiller52 24
You can't be 100% sure he did it. If cameras are in the area look at them with management and see if he did do it.
Redmai 22
Time to call the cops OP
Quetzal27 12
Now is the time you call the police, and wow what an immature ill mannered person. Sounds like he needs to go to an anger management class right after manner school. Gross and then violent what a winning combination.
laden_swallow09 35
Oh, if ONLY there were some easier way to convey those very sentiments to our poor, dear OP! If only you could somehow reduce the effort it takes to share your sympathy to just one click of a mouse, or a tap on a screen…
Omniprism 15
Paybacks, yes plural, shall be the biggest bitch.
Miss_Whipped 43
the biggest bitches*, yes plural. :)