Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML
Today my boss went digging through my drawer, took a pack of gum, and told me I got him the wrong flavor. He kept it anyway. FML
Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML
Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pinkiss_fml 21
There must be something the management can do. Are there any cameras in the area where you're parked? Did you park in the employee parking area? Have you reported it to the police?
Cagara_fml 10
Report him to management. I am sorry OP some people are just assholes
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
trevorboii 12
that escalated quickly .
daddysgirl243 21
immature assholes
BranzerMyDoggie 10
A huge overreaction on the Co workers part. Although it depends on what OPs version of 'politely' is.
Hammer1722 19
Slash his throat
xXAHXx112 13
thats a bit extreme just over some chewing gum. ask your boss if the car lot has security cameras, if so see if you can see him doing it and get him to pay for the damages. No reason at all to be that childish
boofuckinhoo 15
What is wrong with your co worker?? Report him! That is so immature !
thecrazymancan 17
What makes you so sure it was him?
ConstantlyAnna 8
Wowzers! That is horrible. Sorry to hear that. Some people really have anger management issues!
writerchic85 26
Do you know for sure it was him?
Kevin5475845 15
cut off his balls, doesn't need them anymore. make sure he eats them up too
RealSuperSand 21
You sound like a bigger psychopath than his coworker, get some help dude.
wheelchairchick 11
call the police he is crazy.