Hey guys, OP here! While my husband is an ass, the reaching up and bending over for things lasted until I dropped a full bottle of water on his foot (accidentally on purpose). After that, he stopped laughing and gave me back rub. Since I am currently denying him sympathy for the tiny bruise on his pinky toe, I'd say we're about even.

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Can you reach the divorce papers?

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I would normally never ever suggest this but I believe that this is one of the rare times that it is ok to kick him int the balls as hard as you can.

To hell with all the people saying he has a 'sense of humor', that's just hardcore douchebaggery

Asshole is being too kind, Cuddly Scorpion. This guy needs to get a visit from one of OP's brothers, father, cousin, or somebody to get his ass kicked. I know from experience that back pain is one of the worse things that can happen to a person. It effects every aspect of your life and to have someone who is supposed to love you deliberately make it harder to live is one of the more heartless things I've ever heard of. That is just cruel.

He seems to be harboring some I'll feelings towards you. At a certain point it isn't a prank anymore and he may actually be laughing at your discomfort than your inability to grasp things. Somethings wrong there.

I agree! Talk about living with the enemy.

Hehe, the first time would be funny just to see the look on OPs face, but I would never make someone with an injury go out of their way to retrieve something that could injure them. It's time the husband gets a visit from the family.

No sex for him.

I mean I don't think that's possible anyway..

good point 23....

So even if he were nice or an asshole, he'd lose either way...

After all, she can't bend over.

Maybe, she can't help having sex. Maybe she's a freak. The ones who like having sex twice in two days.

How did noone get number 53's reference to the other fml?

I got it, 89. It just wasn't funny.

Sometimes it's funny when someone comments making a reference to a previous FML. Lately, not so much. It's getting pretty old.

Its not getting old, just worse at times

No dinner, no love, and no bed. That bitch is sleeping on the couch!

Can you reach the divorce papers?

more like, can you spell "couch"?

well dayum. just damn.

Normally I can't stand when people use divorce as a response to every bad husband, but this husband goes beyond cruel. Anyone who can laugh at their wife's pain and suffering deserves to be alone and broke.

You husband should be more understanding, what a jerk.

Speaking of jerk, I think he's guna be doing a lot of that for a while.

Wow, how immature does someone have to be to have such a complete lack of sympathy for someone they supposedly care about?

How do we know OP doesn't belly ache about the darnedest of things? Edit: Never mind...

Even if that were true, 36, does that make OP deserve to be tortured by a man who vowed to protect her in sickness and in health? I don't care if she's the biggest bitch this side of Creation, she doesn't deserve that kind of treatment.

Oops. Sorry 36. I didn't see your edit the first time. I do apologize.

90 - No problem :D I was just trying to put myself in his shoes.. But he is just wrong.

It's ok you can still hit him in the balls

Finally, an appropriate response. All the previous posts are just too over the top.

Exactly. My first thought was: You can still kick right? Everytime he laughs at you, kick him in the balls. He'll learn eventually. :)

Don't even need to start with a kick. Just a flick is usually enough to make a guy fall over. (I grew up with a brother and four male cousins constantly around me. If I didn't threaten their manhoods from time to time, they'd have tortured me. Usually only took one hit for them to learn.)

Use this as an excuse when ever be tries to make a move down the road when your back feels better to not have sex. He will apologize his ass off.

I actually laughed at my phone when I read 13) Okay I lied. You have a sense of humour sir :)

Yes, he's apologize or go on dates! But hey, don't worry OP, I think that cheaters don't need any excuses to cheat so if he hasn't done it now, your chances are 50-50. Intensive muscle relaxant and rest are advisable :)

Suggestion: withhold sex from him for some time. After all, you are too beautiful to give in to his carnal desires.

And you know this how exactly?

hahahaha love a sincere sense of humor!!!Maybe you need to stop being so serious

Finally someone who isn't such a stuck up!

I'm all for jokes, but this is just pure assholery.

It would have been funny if he did this, but still got everything for her instead of making her get it herself.

Well 10, next time my boyfriend is in excruciating pain, I'll be sure to maker everything as difficult as possible.

Please tell me you're kidding, 10. You don't seriously condone torture, to you? Have you ever had severe back pain? I'm guessing not or you wouldn't think this is funny. I have a very good sense of humor and I can see the funny side of almost anything - but not torture.

What a loving husband