Customers, Religion and Work: Forgive me

Forgive me

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the Crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 767

You deserved it 4 301

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

For life

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 321

You deserved it 62 249

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 781

You deserved it 99 785

Lucky

By mislabelled mother - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I got my first tattoo. I didn't realise that the font I chose uses a fancy capital L that can easily be mistaken for a capital F. It looks like I have "I'm A Good Fuck Charm" tattooed on my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 6 196

Paranoid

By MaddyN - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 034

You deserved it 3 520

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 814

You deserved it 72 129

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 850

You deserved it 4 710

Back to square one

By nurseITHINKNOT - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 797

You deserved it 3 947

Taking the piss

By Mug - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 238

You deserved it 2 221

I'm confused

By confusedbagel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 499

You deserved it 4 083

Snappy

By DamnDogs - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 733

You deserved it 5 726

zingline89 18

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:08

Did it take him 3 days to rise? If so, you're not very good.

winfieldALJD 6

Thursday 22 November 2012 17:34

I love how the FML Team can't be thumbed up or down.

Comments

SlutWhattheFuck 3

Thursday 22 November 2012 22:17

This is stupid. It's a TATTOO.

almostmarried 5

Thursday 22 November 2012 22:46

Good! Take dirt and rub it on his shoulder and spit on it! Cover that retarded shit with filth!

g_ayvel 11

Thursday 22 November 2012 23:55

That is very rude of you to say

the_enigma1019 1

Friday 23 November 2012 3:57

Refer to number 33's replies... Then get back to us.

gc327072 30

Friday 23 November 2012 5:05

You always know when you're in the company of an atheist because they're sure to tell you.

FEZ16 3

Thursday 22 November 2012 23:13

Not like he exists. So it doesn't matter.

LONERANGER44 11

Friday 23 November 2012 0:01

The power of Christ compels you !!

wdd2 5

Friday 23 November 2012 3:06

Love thy neighbor's tattoo, eh? That's a new spin on the bible, props for going the extra mile : )

TcheQ 12

Friday 23 November 2012 3:48

YDI for holding onto childhood superstitions

chelsinator 8

Friday 23 November 2012 4:16

It's a ******* tattoo..get over it!

GILuvit 1

Friday 23 November 2012 4:56

Not that he was of much importance anyway, was just a human like the rest of us

eclay92 1

Saturday 24 November 2012 6:22

I know, right? It's not like he founded one of the most influential religions in Western civilization or anything.

Velii 9

Friday 23 November 2012 12:12

I'm not a huge Jesus fan, but that made me laugh. But hey, think of it on the bright side... Everyone's been dying to see Jesus and YOU got to touch him. 1UP