Today, I got my first tattoo. I didn't realise that the font I chose uses a fancy capital L that can easily be mistaken for a capital F. It looks like I have "I'm A Good Fuck Charm" tattooed on my wrist. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the Crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a new hockey jersey and donated my old one. My old one was signed. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML
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Top comments
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Either way, not a good tatt.
Donut_Wizard 23
How did you not notice this before you got the tattoo? No regerts I guess.
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Comments (23)
ajh1800 25
Guess you're not a good luck charm after all...
DraftHail614 17
The next time you go on a date, he might just get lucky.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Either way, not a good tatt.
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Is your name lucky by any chance?
Donut_Wizard 23
How did you not notice this before you got the tattoo? No regerts I guess.
RichardPencil 30
Don’t meff with Lancy Lontf! You’ll Fook Fike a Lucking Loof!
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
Whatever other people see, it still means the same thing, so no big deal.
Symphoniaes 32
No ragrets, isn’t that right Scottie P.
Lobby_Bee 17
Instead of having good luck, you'll be having a good ****. It isn't so bad, who doesn't like a good ****?
Mungolikecandy 19
Did you not see the design before it was permanently etched upon you? If you did you would have seen it looked that way.