Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of almonds I got from the bulk food store, picking off what I thought was stringy remnants of their shells. When I finally got down to the bottom of the bag, I found a silk worm circling around the last almond left of a bag of about 200. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I was halfway through eating a what I though was a delicious sandwich, when I turned it over and saw nasty green mold on the bread. FML
Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML
Today, I decided to snack on some M&M's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my M&M's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the M&M off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an M&M. It was a dead beetle. FML
Today, I went into my kitchen after placing a line of salt across the floor in front of the back door the night before to ward off slugs that keep getting in, only to find 12 idiotic slugs dead and shrivelled up, leaving a horrible gooey mess. I don't know why I expected any intelligence from them. FML
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Top comments
giantsfan2010 23
*barfs*
paigexox0 37
Wtf i think it being slimy should have told you something was very off
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Comments (93)
deet124 11
You've come too far to quit now!
sinistral 10
Better than finding half a huge black slug at the bottom of the tub..
Obito_Rocks 6
Have you eaten it yet? I'll take it.
Tarlachia 33
This is why I wear masks.
buckdharma 38
She found some slime in the coconut she'd eaten all up. She found some slime in the coconut and call the doctor, woke him up. She said DocBastard, is there nothing I can take? She said DocBastard, to relieve this bellyache?
BrotherPhil 35
Should have put some lime in it.
meghan7810 16
Did you stop eating too or does the mask provide the nutrients you need to survive?
DocBastard 40
Of all the healthy things you could have chosen, you picked coconut? Instead of, oh I don't know, carrots or cucumber or apples or ANYTHING else, you chose the one loaded with saturated fat? I think this was the universe's way of telling you that you made a bad choice.
xoamy906 25
I agree with you 100% but perhaps OP has more of a sweet tooth and was eating things like tasty cakes and decided to grab coconut pieces instead, in which case would definitely be a lot healthier
sturschaedel 27
Yeah, even other kinds of nuts, like walnuts, are better than coconuts.
Enslaved 38
But Harry Belafonte says, Coconut got lots of iron and will make me strong like a lion.
Bi_ShrDiWun 10
You gotta be fkin kidding me... someone that is STILL hung up on saturated fat! IT'S GOOD FOR YOU! Look up Framingham - no link between saturated fat and heart disease. Coconut is one of the BEST fats!
DocBastard 40
The research shows that a diet high in saturated fat may not be associated with heart disease, but high plasma saturated fat levels is. That doesn't mean it's healthful to eat a tub of saturated fat.
DanielleinDC 34
So you eat dried fruit or something.
sturschaedel 27
Dried fruit is almost pure sugar. You might as well eat chocolat.
lulinator 40
I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
patrickalamo 48
All natural...
sturschaedel 27
Eewwww, that's just vile! As DocB has pointed out you didn't probably do you own diet any good, but you sure helped mine. Dinner is off for me tonight.
hippodankamus 22
To quote the timeless words of Wilt from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends: "Now, on a list of things that are not ok, that is really not ok."
Rosebudx 32
Slimy yet satisfying ;)