Today, my spiritual faith is put to the test. Divine intervention? Spiritual challenge? No. I somehow got in the middle of a violent argument between two colleagues, who both think I'm on the opposing side. One claims she knows witchcraft, the other claims to have "unseen friends" who owe him big. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was accused of witchcraft. This is not the first time this has happened. FML
Today, my parents tried to stage an intervention for me. Drugs? No. Alcohol? Nope. Gambling? Nah ah. They wanted to intervene on behalf of my soul since I decided I no longer believe in their religion. I had to threaten to call the cops when the escalated to attempt a forced exorcism on me. FML
Today, my fanatical Christian stepfather told me that my genetic illness is a result of demon possession, and that I'd be cured if I allow his church to perform a "healing prayer demon expulsion" on me. FML
Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML
Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
Today, thanks to an electric shock, I technically died for about 50 seconds until my coworker managed to restart my heart. Now my deeply religious aunt and uncle pester me constantly, demanding to know if I met God or saw a white light, or the fires of hell. They’re absolutely fucking relentless. FML
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML
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Top comments
Yudith 25
Why so much hate? Those two colleagues could be friends! You can totally know witchcraft AND have unseen friends that owe you big, plus you can use your witchcraft to force your unseen friends to give you back your money!
Chazzster 29
It’s not necessary to join every argument. And God doesn’t demand that you defend him every time you hear such a discussion. … It was clearly a mistake to have joined in arguing any side in this. It’s far easier to just ask your friend about their belief and listen without judgement. You would learn more about your friend and not be in an impossible argument if you had done that. … You cannot change what is past, but you can learn to avoid repeating mistakes…
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Comments (2)
Yudith 25
Why so much hate? Those two colleagues could be friends! You can totally know witchcraft AND have unseen friends that owe you big, plus you can use your witchcraft to force your unseen friends to give you back your money!
Chazzster 29
It’s not necessary to join every argument. And God doesn’t demand that you defend him every time you hear such a discussion. … It was clearly a mistake to have joined in arguing any side in this. It’s far easier to just ask your friend about their belief and listen without judgement. You would learn more about your friend and not be in an impossible argument if you had done that. … You cannot change what is past, but you can learn to avoid repeating mistakes…