No brainer

By Spongebob Garypants - 26/05/2016 02:05 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I went into my kitchen after placing a line of salt across the floor in front of the back door the night before to ward off slugs that keep getting in, only to find 12 idiotic slugs dead and shrivelled up, leaving a horrible gooey mess. I don't know why I expected any intelligence from them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 258
You deserved it 2 097
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

whysobeachy 37

Wouldn't expecting intelligence from slugs make YOU the idiot? Ooohh, plot twist.

269 7
Tripartita 44

A fellow attendee of the Winchester School of Pest Control, eh? It was the worst money I ever spent, but my house has been demon free…

220 7

Comments

barfingcat21 18

Get some home defense from your local hardware store and spray all along the outside of your house and yard.

17 4
whysobeachy 37

Good god, no. I don't think OP is an eagle. (Do eagles eat slugs? I'm pitching a wild guess here)

4 18
el_bell3618 29

Clearly you don't know what escargot is

2 14
FoucaultsBitch 6

Yeah, but dehydrated oversalted wild slugs aren't exactly as appetizing as fresh, farmed, buttered and cooked to plump perfection escargot.

9 6
PhoenixChick 26

Since escargot is snails, not slugs, I think perhaps you don't know.

16 1
el_bell3618 29

There's a thing called variation, I've seen slugs prepared very similarly as well

0 10
Steffi3 40

Seems like your ward did exactly what it was supposed to do, though. It keeps the snails out because they die when they try to cross the salt. What else did you expect?

77 2
TheGamingGamer 28

Just go to Home Depot and get Slug Defense, then put it around your house and by the doors and windows.

10 4
confused_wandere 26

We don't have Home Depot in the UK though.

7 2
ZombieSazza 34

We do have B&Q over here though. They have a gardening section and I'm fairly certain they sell this kind of thing, if not, then B&M Bargains, which also has a gardening section.

8 1
Tripartita 44

A fellow attendee of the Winchester School of Pest Control, eh? It was the worst money I ever spent, but my house has been demon free…

220 7
Welshite 39

Are you sure about that? Are you absolutely positive?

16 2
Tripartita 44

Did they ask you to post that comment? Are they trying to make me doubt my training? Because I am NOT calling those dudes back here and paying them to check for demons—I just can't take anymore of their romantic tension!

39 0
JadeOmega 23

Maybe the demons WANT you to think your house is demon free

4 0
katelng09 16

I actually thought this was leading to something to do with Supernatural. But nope. We got slugs. xD

15 0
LiveForSenpai 13

Is their company car an Impala by any chance? (btw, this comment made my day xD)

4 0
FlutterLoud 29

I think this I'm my favorite comment on my favorite FML. :)

0 0
metalcrazed 21

What in the world are you talking about?

0 0
CamBamShamDaMan 26

Your name is fitting for this FML, or at least the last part i guess.

4 2
whysobeachy 37

Wouldn't expecting intelligence from slugs make YOU the idiot? Ooohh, plot twist.

269 7
DanCastellaneta 17

still a better plot twist than anything I could come up with

1 1
zebra3_fml 7

the slugs are mostly dead, so your problem is half solved now.

6 2
Mathalamus 24

12 dead slugs? ew...

5 9
whysobeachy 37

If 12 dead slugs is "ew", would 11 dead slugs be 'ew-1'?

5 9