Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML
Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, at my store, I had an old man violently accuse me of charging him for an extra pack of 99¢ Mounds candy yesterday. He held up my line for 10 minutes, fighting me about it. I didn't even work yesterday. FML
Today, an old guy got nose to nose with me, threatened me, and spit in my face, just because I politely reminded him he needed to be wearing a mask. He had been coughing on multiple food items in my store. FML
Today, as I was working in retail, this guy shoved me into the shelves for asking if he needed help with anything, screaming at me that I need to leave him alone. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
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Top comments
wattsthepoint 12
Good beef jerky is something to die for.
Jojohn0 23
he had some beef because he was jerky
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Comments (66)
Snake1105 20
Those old men have to have their beef jerky
incoherentrmblr 22
You all were messing with Sasquatch. Stop messing with Sasquatch...
xx000o 27
After you pass that certain age, beef jerky can make or break your day.
wattsthepoint 12
Good beef jerky is something to die for.
Mossyoak_kw 28
Agreed!
khaoticpanda 28
FREE beef jerky is something to die for haha.
badluckalex 23
my slim jim is free ;)
KingSplatter 9
Denial of jerky is in fact a killing offense. You got off easy
Jojohn0 23
he had some beef because he was jerky
howard007 18
That should be a slogan for their company, "Beef Jerky worth starting beef for"
logicrules 11
I hope security beefed him up on his behaviour
hard_candy 25
that jerk had beef with you over some jerky?! that's crazy!
OhWhoCares 42
Sorry OP but if by momentarily you really mean "I left my cart in the middle of a busy aisle for 5 minutes to read the nutritional info on two separate labels" I kinda side with the old man... Plus I'm pretty sure this is what happened because this is every family ever that goes to a store together. YDI However if he's actually insane and you pissed him off by walking past his jerky then FYL :(
BubbleGrunge 18
Even if she was blocking the whole damn aisle, there is no need for him to get violent.
JayGatsby 25
Yes, however, I'm pretty sure that a "could you please move your cart" would have also done the trick
gotta_respond 10
Dude, it was a warehouse store and we were one aisle away from the check-out lines (the most crowded part of the store). Our cart was stopped because there was literally no where to go. We were all chill, like everyone else in that part of the store, gradually scooting forward through the sea of carts toward the check-out lanes. The nut was going against the flow and seemed to think that we could just vanish. I mean, if I had the ability to make my cart and family rise above the earth to let him pass under us, I certainly would have, but that's not an option and that was the only direction that we could move in. Carts to the left, carts behind us, beef jerky to the right, and some madman in front of us trying to go against the flow of traffic. He started mumbling threats and waving his arms around wildly and thing escalated quickly :-P
MattM95 16
I guess he really likes beef jerky.
Darkness_Hate 29
Don't be between a man and his food. Joke aside too sensitive guy.
moongal44 7
cant stand between a man and his protein
KhaleesiDannie 26
Gotta have that free jerky... that stuff is expensive