Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML
Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML
Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
_parth 20
Damn. Did you activate all your superpowers to do that? Fyl op.
tony1891 22
you may wanna start eating more fiber then.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
phillysportsfan 13
Umm... Eat more fruit.
Eleora 19
I um, hate when that happens? Lol
Jthewat 22
To be honest, I've done that too.
pooptitty 2
people always post these serious ass comments. and im over here like oh shit. thats ifunny material
ARetardedSeal 24
Maybe if you try that again you'll go super sayian
Fuzy2K 7
Why were you blowing your nose in the toilet? O_o
NLM22 14
I feel your pain. I've a problem going to the bathroom since I was little.... my doctors only give give me laxative prescriptions and recommend prune juice.
Brandi_Faith 34
If the laxatives cause cramping or you have any issues with them you should try getting Magnesium Glycinate capsules from a compounding pharmacy. I have chronic pain and the painkillers caused issues, but the magnesium worked really well without causing bad cramping or off and on diarrhea like some laxatives do.
Jdlove2 20
Wow
jeanyrios 10
DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN. PEOPLE HAVE DIED OF ANEURISMS BECAUSE OF THAT. FRUITS & WATER. SALADS & WATER. WATER & WATER. THAT WILL HELP KEEP YOU REGULAR
Ki11erC 18
Speak up, I don't think they heard you at the back.
worldclassrager 41
Better than blood in your stool