Inconvenienced

Eat more fibre

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML

Today, I have had 4 nosebleeds. Four of them, full-on, almost passing out nosebleeds. It's only noon. I think I need to see a doctor. FML

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

Deviated septum blues

Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

Leaking from everywhere

Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML

Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

Any damage? Who nose?

Today, it's the seventh day after my nose job. I was taking something out of a box and pulled too hard. I punched myself in the nose. FML

Rough patch

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML