Today, I found out the guy taking the cubicle next to mine is the annoying dudebro who punctuates, like, every sentence he says with, like, the word "like" every, like, three words. Like… FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML
Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
Today, like the rest of the past year, I had to hear my roommate as he works as tech support from home. The man does not have an "inside voice" but echoes across multiple floors like a tuba, as he debugs people's software issues over the phone. Talking to him about it only makes him angry… and louder. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
Today, I had breakfast with my roommate and he was so loud, my ears felt ready to burst. If I even suggest he needs his hearing checked, he erupts like Mt. Vesuvius. Everyone agrees, he has no "inside voice" and they don't know how to handle his near-shouting to your face either. FML
Today, my coworker keeps loudly saying things like, "Oh, now THIS!" If I don't ask, "What?" she pouts. If I do ask, she tells me, at length and with very bad grammar, how every one of our colleagues and partners is either stupid, rude or out to get her. FML
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Top comments
rotflqtms_ 21
Hope you have some nice ear plugs or if you need headphones, noise canceling headphones...and a phone that flashes when it rings if you need to answer a phone.
ojoRojo 27
Do it back to him and see if he figures it out
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Comments (5)
cuz803 46
He could have a low score on literacy. Maybe English isn't his first language. or maybe he could be a little slow on the spectrum. Just forget the silly grammar and be happy your English isn't like his.
rotflqtms_ 21
Hope you have some nice ear plugs or if you need headphones, noise canceling headphones...and a phone that flashes when it rings if you need to answer a phone.
bleachedraven 14
It might be annoying but there are certainly worse scenarios to deal with 🤣
ojoRojo 27
Do it back to him and see if he figures it out
Wadlaen 24
Like, when I read this, I really like feel like your situation sort of like sucks right now. Like, good luck!