Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
Today, I found out my son has been lying about being sick. He kept complaining so I took him to the doctor and got him some medicine. Now he’s actually sick because he took meds he didn’t even need. He did it solely so he could get an expensive get well soon gift. FML
Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML
Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML
Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML
Today, my 13 year-old son had a seizure in the middle of his history class. We were at the hospital for three hours and several expensive tests later he informed me he faked the seizure so he could get out of a group presentation. He was so proud that he was such a good actor. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher, saying that he raised his hand during a test to say he "couldn't focus, because the ‘metroids’ are harassing me.” Apparently, he forgot about the test and took a healthy dose of shrooms right before. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
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Top comments
goodfella925 0
**** that, smash that xbox to the side of his head:/
DocBastard 40
That's bad parenting, plain and simple. Any kid raised right would never dream of pulling a stunt like this, especially when it puts his parents' health at risk. You brought this on yourself. Now it's up to you to set him straight before the nasty behaviour gets worse.
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Comments (441)
richthedude19 1
You decide it's a good idea to beat the little ******* ass...
Tyrax 16
Explain to him that if you die, he never gets the controllers back. I probably would have kicked his ass.
mastatheif 8
Whip your son, you are the parent and you can constitutionally whip him as punishment
EmDizzle2007 28
kill him. you can make another one.