Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day at work. I woke up when someone gently tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see people smiling at me. I'd been snoring so loud that the conductor had said, “Please wake Sleeping Beauty up, this is the last stop.” I had drooled on my tie and missed my actual stop by an hour. FML
Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML
Today, while on the skytrain, a woman leaned on the railing bar that I was holding onto, crushing my hand. My first instinct was to move my hand when she turned around and began loudly yelling at me for, "Touching her waist" and "Sexually harassing" her. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, while riding the train, some druggie got into a dispute with some random passengers. Even though I didn't even look at them fighting, he decided I was a threat and punched me, a pregnant woman, and some bikers. Now I've got a black eye. FML
Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML
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Top comments
Yazoo77 16
Although she shouldn't have done that, you never know what might have happened to her in the past to make her have a reaction like that.
imyy 20
You probably just scared her. Don't worry OP, you did the right thing, sometimes people react in a negative way due to no fault of your own.
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Comments (49)
roxyroller20 15
Hopefully, "trying to punch" means you didn't get punched. Sorry OP, FYL
Ishilied 11
It's good that you were trying to be nice, but sometimes people are violent when they wake up. I'm one of those people. It's not on purpose, but sometimes my body reacts to 'danger' before my mind has a grasp on what happening. I injured one of the assistant's once when I was coming out of anesthesia; and a few times in the ER the drugs they gave me made me pass out--my husband told the technician not to get near me and that he'd wake me up because of it when it was time to go each time (and I still swung my leg out hard enough to fall off the bed once).
jennaraaawrxoxx 7
Coming from that exact city I can say id probably react in a similar fashion - having said that she was probably just startled...the trains aren't safe at night. Hell, they aren't always safe during the day. You didn't deserve it but yeah, I don't blame her tbh.
RayneSmytson 24
Yeah - that's why I don't sleep on Metro trains. VLine ones, yes, they're okay. But never Metro.
fknkents 14
Now op was she a Collingwood supporter?
amzee96 18
That's what you get for watching AFL.
Flyndaran 10
Some people wake up a few seconds before their brain does even if they never suffered a single trauma in their lives.
notorious_me 13
I am so happy that this FML did not end with something like " she wasn't asleep but dead. "
0mysteriousman0 22
Which line OP. Frankston, Broady or Dandy? Any of those three are guaranteed a great selection of nutters :)
jennaraaawrxoxx 7
You're forgetting south morang and hurstbridge ;-)
ally8 21
Stuff her, not with getting punched
LJraddy 6
Straya mate!