Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Way to deploy the retro-rockets to ensure a soft landing!
Doortje 30
Since you were demonstrating, did everyone repeat your exact moves? Including the long fart?
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Comments (86)
AlexBuda 0
Very lady like, I would find a new dance class or a new hobby.
ydi_4_suking 20
Holy shit I've been laughing so hard at all the comments and the fml. I was walking down the street while reading. People must have thought I was crazy
mjoep1996 4
Me too
duzurlifesuk2 7
hahaha exact same thing here!!
saleha97 4
i would never survived that ;s
DocBastard 40
I wouldn't make such a big stink over this. I should probably stay silent (but deadly), and you may think I'm full of hot air, but just poot it out of your mind. Maybe your colleagues didn't catch wind of it, but in case they did I would invite them all over for wine and cheese, which I'm sure you know how to cut. I'm probably tooting my own horn a bit here.
usafacadet2013 4
Best comment ever, number twenty-pun
lindsaymiedema 4
oh my god!!! :)
ImTheAlpha 30
Shit, sørry Doc, I accidentally thumbed you down. I was laughing too much.
malisa916 7
This fml sounded dirty for a second, speaking of your legs opening wide, then it was ruined by the fart portion :/
43steelers43 0
I'd open your legs wide.
arielhoee 9
What I want to know, is why it took more than five seconds to do your splits.
grace12898 0
Propelled off the ground by the fart
ilux3 0
lmao
CynthiaAnn 0
Oh my gosh. I would've cried!
Kukakuka 0
Hahaha that's hilarious..... I'm sorry
ArthursLifeSucks 2
Usually you're supposed to wait until the yoga instructor says, "...and release" before doing that.