Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
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Top comments
SheTheOtaku 21
Did she offer to help you get clean at least? It's possible she was having a terrible day and accidentally aimed her anger at you.
604 11
Quick! Buy a lottery ticket. I've heard that's good luck.
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Comments (66)
TwentyFourBeerz 18
Drunk people are the best
llamaslikesoda 21
OP, hope she offered to help you. But that story made my day to be honest haha
BigBubbaJ 13
Trust no one, help no one.
ShortyJorty 9
And that my friends is what tequila does to you...
bryanjamieluke 17
Well, that says one thing about your character. A lot of people, sadly, would have seen the opportunity to steal the purse!
mattbaker 17
Must be drunk .
abcluvsu 6
That's gross but maybe she was just having a bad day.
Ibroughtuamento 10
That entire FML was a roller-coaster from start to finish
jinxmaster 19
She must be pregnant...
kaytlynsparks 5
I wish I could get that drunk....