Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SheTheOtaku 21
Did she offer to help you get clean at least? It's possible she was having a terrible day and accidentally aimed her anger at you.
604 11
Quick! Buy a lottery ticket. I've heard that's good luck.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (66)
triplebeerox 27
These are some reasons I stay away from drunks: they are unreasonable and can vomit on you.
fearlesscooldude 12
Aw, thats really bad OP, I hope not alot of people assumed you a thief.
DanShowsNoMercy 13
Well that's a life lesson, don't try to help drunk strangers.
jack_jill05 14
unless said drunk stranger has a weapon of mass destruction, you should probably help them. you never know what could have happened if you didnt help them, like if they got into a car accident because you were too lazy.
abc_1_2_3 12
Ahh gotta love bipolar drunks xD
qdawg06 23
This is why I hesitate to be helpful. Sorry OP, that's crappy.
JJ_86 22
Just one such incident should not be stopping anyone from trying to help people. This was just an unfortunate one.
KVKdragon 26
Even though you got puked on for your troubles, I commend you for being a good person, OP. People like you need to be more prevalent in society and life :)
Futacy 30
You met Lindsay Lohan on the street and you DIDN'T get her autograph?
q7shium 6
that is a great comment!!
devi_916 39
After everything else that happened he was probably afraid she'd punch him and then puke again if he asked for an autograph.
katebond 16
poor you
caprice91 4
sorry went through that.
worldclassrager 41
Props for helping OP...but that had to be an odd experience