Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying, "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML
Today, I was told by step-dad, who I live with, that my mom "hates my guts" while smiling so big, because he got a call from her. He's so desperate for her to come back that all the lying, cheating, manipulation, and emotional abuse doesn't push him away. She's a tornado. FML
Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML
Today, I dawned on me that my step-dad, who cheated on and is now divorcing my mom, is my favorite family member. FML
Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML
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Top comments
tootsie68 22
That's plain rude.
elephantsarecute 16
At least he's not your biological father so you don't have those genes.
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Comments (87)
LyraAlluse 25
Another real like troll (the step dad) strikes again.
MysticMonkey 9
WTF. Shouldve smacked him up
Wealthyparrot 9
Meh, nothing to do but give him no respect or authority for the rest of your life. Treat him like the lowlife he is.
DanqGirlxoxo 13
I hope your mother overheard that conversation and decides to put him in a cage like some freakshow circus act , and decides to feed him and leave him there like the disgusting prick he is. Forget the fxck him part.
jem970 19
He looked right at her as he said it. I doubt she didn't hear the douche.
ZombieSazza 34
Wow, he sounds like an asshole. Maybe you should tie him up somewhere and just "forget him", maybe he'll learn to behave.
davincidasecond 24
If anyone talked about my mother like that or bragged about how he "stole" her from my dad, I would find him, feed him his teeth, **** him with a rod and forget him in a dumpster. What an asshole.
3rdbass 9
Seek help, sir.
3rdbass 9
I'm not a violent man. But even I would have slugged him.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
That ain't right.
horrorbznss 4
someone listens to the mentors... 4F club
onorexveritas 24
wow. he sounds like a charmer