Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying, "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML
Today, I was told by step-dad, who I live with, that my mom "hates my guts" while smiling so big, because he got a call from her. He's so desperate for her to come back that all the lying, cheating, manipulation, and emotional abuse doesn't push him away. She's a tornado. FML
Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML
Today, I dawned on me that my step-dad, who cheated on and is now divorcing my mom, is my favorite family member. FML
Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML
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Top comments
tootsie68 22
That's plain rude.
elephantsarecute 16
At least he's not your biological father so you don't have those genes.
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Comments (87)
Dodge4x4Ram 46
las vegasdotcom
Crazafon 19
Yourcommentdoesntmakesensedotcom
B5B0N35 18
I did not expect that at all :/
ironichalibut 24
Sounds like your dad should've fed your mom more.
feelingold 18
/ f*cked her more...
meherm 11
Um..is your mom really willing yo stay with him? That sounded just a tad creepy/rude/weird all at the same time.
AngelicTide 11
Is he a good step-dad? -__-
randomthing 22
no
poodle_juice 17
Well at least he had the decency to feed her right?
CrissyyyS2 22
So I'm guessing your Dad didn't feed or fk her right?
Flowtastic 16
If he didn't how is the OP here? Immaculate conception?
VeganVampyre 27
Yes! All hail OP, the reincarnation of Jesus!
neonstarr 15
Aww true love at its finest.
spaboolly 26
It's bad enough that the guy isn't even ashamed of being a jackass, but it really annoys me that people like that are the reason every time I go somewhere and say I'm from Vegas that's exactly the kind of conclusion people jump to.
slickchrome 11
I'm from Vegas that's how we roll