Anonymous
Rosetown, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Congrats
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
petpeeeve
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Kylee Day
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML
trina
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Frustrated wank
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Great.
Billings, United States
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
Highnapple
Sarnia, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Anonymous
Westminster, United States 🌶️ Spicy
First time?
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Anonymous
Lincoln, United States 🌶️ Spicy
You're welcome
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he pulled up his pants and said, "There you go." FML
sallyfradoodle
🌶️ Spicy
New Romantics
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
disapointed girl
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Top comments
annie_nk 22
Grab his penis, shake it and say "You too."
itsalanis 25
Well, you must have done a good job then.
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Comments (176)
lostcrazydiamond 10
That's when you bring out the kinky businesswoman suit and whip for roleplay, and inform him that you were not satisfied, and expect a redo with the strict guidelines you set.
Tezoma 28
He could have told you you did a bad job, though a handshake after sex is still odd.
OhDearBetrayal 25
He could be her boss and the sex could have been a business transaction for say a raise or higher position.
MNBOY16 15
Well good for you! Next!
kourtnii_ 6
And this is an FML how..?
youllnvrkno 8
Doesnt matter. Had sex.
Joe9024 20
This is getting soooo worn out
kevsandy303 12
Just like your mom's pussy! Jk have a good day now.
whostolemylama 12
It's all fun and games until someone takes an arrow to the knee. (Hopefully someone remembers that)
klovemachine 24
@68 awesome :D
TheRandomIndian 17
Maybe OPs boyfriend took a knee to the arrow so he was too scared to do anything more than a handshake
bleachfreeblonde 6
Hey at least it wasn't a pat on the back and "nice try"
teh_uber_muffin 3
The handshake is exactly something I would do.
MaFioso13 17
Doesn't look like you get any, anyways
BLK161096 4
and that's why you, sir, will never have sex.
SkyyEatsAirplane 11
Or
TwiztedYuri 9
so you shake your own hand.... that must be awkward
LarryLaDouche 13
"How's it going me?" "Oh you know other me, just OK."
Jessj958 19
IF you ever get laid?
dan_in_wi 12
you need to have sex first dude!
notjanedoe 27
Not too bad I think, maybe he is as socially awkward as I am :-), shaking hands is default polite behavior. In any case, there are much worse things he could have done or said. All things considered 'good job' is nice enough.
nyu2jh 4
Congrats!
buckdharma 37
well op, you passed your probationary period. I hope you do as well on your 6 month performance review.
TheRandomIndian 17
I hope someone saves that dolphin
buckdharma 37
You got it all wrong #134. I'm trying to potty train him. He usually ***** all over my floor on porpoise!
TheRandomIndian 17
And here comes the puns...