Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said, "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FML
Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML
Today, I told my man I was feeling a lack of emotional closeness and dialogue in our relationship. I'd hoped for a comeback like, "So what do you need in order to change that?" Or even, "Aw, come here, let's cuddle!" Instead, I got a simple, "I don't." FML
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Top comments
fishyfingaz 0
He's a defensive childish dick. Im sure you can do better.
hcube 0
your bf is an idiot. your boobs are perfect.
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Comments (120)
CmmderMalander 0
Ha the greatest come back ever
bassman22 0
agreed
bballplaya100569 1
this is one of the few FMLs that actually kept a big smile in my face, that's funny shit... Either he is witty and funny or an idiot and a douche
xderekskix 0
for all you know, her **** could look like the old banana missles from something about mary.
perdix 31
It's time to move on. Your boobs are fine. For every size, there is some group of men who like them just like that. Anytime a man is not giving his woman enough sex, something is seriously wrong. And you are just dating! If you were married, that's just ****** up, but because you are not, it's time to pack your bags and leave.
Sekococo 0
Sing to him this song then he'll appreicate you - Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to the floor? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow? Can you throw it over your shoulder And bitch slap a guy to murder? Do your boobs.... hang.... low? :D
BlueTwist89 0
Lol. Agree with #35.
nandonando 0
it's true, I love chicks with huge racks which makes my sec drive bigger.
Ft9princess 0
break up with him then tell him you wished he had a bigger penis
SaturnE_fml 0
Yes. I agree with this solution. While you're at it, quit your job and tell your boss you want a raise.
musicmaniac925 0
lololololololololololololololololololololol *gasping for oxygen* lolololololololololololololol !!! !!! !!'
EChan 1
Wait.. so you're saying that it's okay to tell someone that they need to improve a part of themselves, but not okay to receive the same treatment? I smell hypocrisy.