Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Come on Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
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Top comments
MrPortalFan 21
You'd think a quote like that would inspire you to finish faster.
Catkam623 27
I wish If had my hype man on my first time maybe he coulda pushed me to longer than 10 seconds
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Comments (88)
AnArChY_KiNg2465 1
damn lol
nite66 21
Please do a follow up
Labrynthian 6
Lol. That's hilarious. Should have taken it as some serious encouragement.
vincentcloud 4
Just chalk it up to horrible first times, you'll get it...eventually
alecs88 3
Seriously dude? seriously?
GuiLD15 7
Idk I would've taken it as a sense of community, and general love and support. nothing would've felt better than to lay her down with the support of the neighborhood.
Hunter1370 2
I guess you could say he came in at the wrong time!!
beyonds 10
That was beautiful
BrinaGreis 3
ha ha! it was a sign to keep it. :)
MomentoMori 23
I am so sorry. Maybe you should give your neighbor a hint..Better luck next time!